Sharing opinions

 

Posted by my friend on Facebook.  I have cool friends.

These two quotes seem to belong together!
"Our background and circumstances may have influenced who we are, but we are responsible for who we become." ~ Barbara Geraci
AND
"The pen that writes your life story must be held in your own hand." ~ Irene C. Kassorla

I was trained at a young age to be obedient.  Dinner conversations revolved around my older brothers and my opinion was usually shot down.  That was my background.  My circumstances have changed but I kept playing the silent listener roll.  I lost my voice for a long time.  Now, I am finding my voice through this blog.  One of the necessities to integration was growing a shared backbone. (Only 2 of the parts had a backbone.  I needed one for all of me.)  KavinCoach knew that I needed to be able to stand up for my opinion in order to thrive.  Unfortunately, this activity normally happens at a much younger age.  I discovered that sometimes in sessions he would set up opportunities for us to discuss ideas in a safe environment where I could disagree without being shouted down, ridiculed, or hurt.  I didn't always realize what he was doing.  Sometimes I just thought it was a lively discussion and wouldn't be until later that I understood that he gave me a safe opportunity to share my ideas.  I miss those conversations now that he moved away.

I read on a few other blogs conversations that would become lively, ideas shared and everyone could have their opinion.  I loved reading the post and all the comments that went with them.  However, I read other blogs where comments were bullying, name slinging and sometimes painful to read.  So I am going to try an experiment.  There are certain self-help authors that throw out some opinions that just have me bristling.  I decided that for a few posts I am going to share their view then respond to what I think and what my experience has taught me.  I would like to invite readers to express their opinions in comments.  Agreeing with me is not needed, however I do ask that people be respectful of each other.  (So far, a troll has never left a comment and I hope it stays this way.) I learned in the discussions with KavinCoach that disagreeing I sometimes gained a different perspective of my own opinion.  One of the awesome things I learned in counseling that many of the 'Facts' I was taught as a child were really just opinion wrapped in authority.  I am looking forward to sharing my opinion and reading yours.

First the quote: http://www.purposefairy.com/6777/15-life-changing-lessons-to-learn-from-wayne-dyer/

ALL THAT YOU NEED IS ALREADY WITHIN YOU  
In this moment you have it all, right NOW and right here, there is nothing lacking. Take time to be quiet at least 5 minutes per day and in time you will discover that you do have access to HAPPINESS, PEACE, ABUNDANCE and all that is good at all times.
You have everything you need for complete peace and total happiness right now. ~ Wayne Dyer 

I believed this for along time.  Until my world started falling apart before counseling.  I read many self help books and I kept trying harder and harder to make sense of my world.  I searched within myself since I believed that the first resource is myself.  I entered marriage counseling with the idea that if I just learned to communicate then all would be well.  I did not have a clue what I was getting myself into.  The thing I discovered was lacking in my life was connection to my own emotions.  Until my counselor pointed out the disconnect I didn't know it was there. Would a woman in a third world country that never used a phone, miss having a cell phone?  Of course not, she wouldn't need one.  I needed my emotions, though my experience taught me to disconnect at an extremely young age.  I could have meditated 500 minutes a day and I still would not have seen the disconnect.  I needed someone outside of me to help me see what was missing.  If I had all that I needed, I certainly didn't know how to use it.  If I gave the woman in that third world country a cell phone, she just might use it as a door stop.  Having something doesn't mean you know how to use what you have.  He also left out the little piece of information that there are some people, not everyone, but some that have physical problems that cause imbalances in their brain.  I've done research and learned a few things that taught me that the human body is a fabulous chemical factory.  Imbalances can cause things to happen inside a person that make happiness and peace as great a challenge as a quadriplegic climbing stairs.   To me this type of sweeping statement, implies if you don't have happiness, peace and abundance then you just aren't trying hard enough after all it only takes 5 minutes a day.  One last aspect of this statement what does he mean by abundance?  If he means that a person will have all he wants, there are people that want so much that the world cannot match their desire. (Example, Napoleon.)  If he means that a person has enough to meet his needs, who decides what that is?  Using vague terms to make promises that can't be fulfilled is a twist of truth that has me wanting to tell him to stop lying to me.  I understand that he believes what he is saying but I would write this a bit differently. 

Within you, there is a mind and heart that if you would take 5 minutes a day to really listen to your inner voice that will help lead you to happiness, peace and more than you thought possible.  However, sometimes you need to ask someone outside yourself to help you recognize your own roadblocks.