40 assets continued

Comments on yesterday's post led me to write today's post.  Most people that follow my blog I suspect will all rate low on the list of things as assets for teenagers.  If you are in a family with a narcissistic parent or 2, love, boundaries, integrity and several others on the list were either scarce or non-existent.  What I thought was amazing was 3/4 of them are 100% under my control now.  Where I was challenged, I didn't know where to begin.  I first heard about boundaries in a marriage class before I started counseling.  This one issue was the main subject that pushed me into counseling.  I was resistant.  I received a lot of negative and inaccurate information about counseling.  Now I have 9 years of counseling experience from 2 excellent counselors.  The list and our discussion in the class was like hearing all the things I worked on condensed into one page.  It was like WOW.  I suspect that if I had this class before counseling I would have sagely nodded my head but didn't have a clue.  Boundaries.  I love them.  I actually used them with my kids without any understanding of why it was important.  I am thankful for NewCounselors visual description of fences with gates like what is encountered on a farm.  Those fences are designed to keep things in as well as out.  But with safe others I can open the gates and let them in.  Not so safe others, I keep certain boundaries for my protection.  I am excited by this list because when I feel stumped as to what I need to work on to improve my life I can refer to this list for areas I want to improve.  I guess I am sick and tired of hearing how a great childhood builds the foundation for a happy life.  I had a lousy childhood, where is the fairness that I should be doomed to a gloomy and depressed life.  I am reclaiming my life.  I am choosing a different route.  I am sorry that my parents had lousy childhoods but destroying mine does not improve theirs.  I can not change the past but looking at that list counseling taught me that I have just about 100% control over my future.  I will still get curve balls thrown at me.  Frustration, hurt, disappointment will enter my life but now I have a whole arsenal of tools used to approach relationships and challenges of life.  I am learning that happiness is not reserved for the elite that had a loving secure childhood.  I am going after the joy in life and plan to take my husband and children with me.  I am blessed to learn that my past does not define me.  I can rewrite my future since it is not set in stone.  I can learn from my past and hopefully bless others along the way.  I can develop these assets in my life.  Sometimes I will stumble.  Sometimes I will be discouraged.  That is OK.  No rules against it.  I will keep becoming the person that I envision for myself.