Sunday, September 30, 2012

Empowerment

My sister posted http://theprojectbyjudy.wordpress.com/2012/09/30/i-needed-this-reminder/ 
 a link that filled me with joy to watch:
http://www.andiesisle.com/creation/magnificent.html



The miracle called birth happens before we remember.  I was blessed with six of my own children.  I am doubly blessed when 2 of my daughters invited me to share their children births.  What an incredible experience.  I am so amazed what my daughters went through.  I realized I was blessed with relatively short labors.  When the baby is first laid in my arms I realize I have total control over this little being.  This tiny person needs me to feed, clean, and protect them from a world gone crazy.  Each child began to grow rapidly.  Milestones of holding their head up, rolling over, crawling, standing, toddling foot steps, and first 'mama' are celebrated and recorded.  Then the terrible twos hit and this sweet beautiful child screams, "NO."  That single word is the first step to a child learning their power.  Some parents wisely teach a child when saying no is sometimes good, even to them.  By three they want to walk themselves, dress themselves, basically tries to do everything themselves. The next years are years of rapid growth and development and separating from parents to become a fully functioning, thinking adult.  The very essence of childhood is to learn to control personal power. 

Not all parents are wise.  Some parents feel threatened by their child that they had total control over becoming separate autonomous person.  Some parents totally neglect their role in this growth process.  Others try to control every aspect so 'nothing goes wrong' and raise their 'perfect' child.  Neglected or engulfed are the two extremes of disasters that a parent convinces the child they have no power.  Neglect because the child is thrown into situations unprepared to meet the challenges and fails repeatedly until they feel they are a failure.  Engulfing the parent makes every decision for them thus convincing the child they can not make decisions for themselves.  I do believe Heavenly Father intended us to become healthy autonomous thinking adults:
2 Timothy 1:7 For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind.
For me and many others, we are taught at a very young age, before we even know we have it, that we have no power, love is a commodity, and we are the ones out of our minds.  

I remember vividly the session when KavinCoach asked me why I kept giving my power away.  I was confused and frightened, "What power have I given away?  What are you talking about?"  Every time I opened my mouth and said, "I have to...." I gave away my God given power to be me.  KavinCoach took on the daunting task of first teaching me about this power and then encouraging me to reclaim it.  The interesting thing about him was his understanding that if he gave me back my power then he was in control.  If he taught me to take back my power then I was in control.   I was blessed with a wise counselor that believed that God empowered us before we were born and it is our task in life to learn to control and yield that power. 


Sweet little toes





I am keeping an eye on you

Creating my own design




Emerging Power

 
Loving Guidance
I am a powerful loving adult




4 comments:

Kara said...

Thanks for sharing this Ruth, a lot of of food for thought. The photos are lovely too.

Judy said...

It's such a tough lesson to learn later in life, because I'm always having to sift through the lies first, but I'm not giving up. Thanks for the help. ((Ruth))

Judith said...

I love baby feet! Such lovely pictures. I wish you lived nearby so you could take pictures of my son. You capture something real and true with your images.

This post reminds me of when my son was in first grade and he wanted to stay in aftercare to play with his friends. I said no, we have plans, and my son pitched a fit, saying, "I hate you!" He'd never said that to me before (and weirdly, never since), and it cut me to the quick. But I took a deep breath and responded, "I can understand why you feel that way. But I'm sorry, I'm not going to change my mind."


My son looked baffled and said, "Well I don't really hate you bin just really really really mad at you."

I responded, "It's ok if you hate me. I love you no matter what."

His mood had changed by then, and he was his usual cheerful self. I thought I learned as much from the incident as anyone.

Ruth said...

You are all welcome. Thanks Vicariousrising for sharing a touching example of what to do to reassure a child.