"In the confrontation between the stream
and the rock, the stream always wins
- not by strength but by perseverance."
- H. Jackson Brown
Click Here For Success Tip # 028
and the rock, the stream always wins
- not by strength but by perseverance."
- H. Jackson Brown
Click Here For Success Tip # 028
Hard to explain to someone who has no clue. It's a daily struggle being in pain or feeling sick on the inside while you look fine on the outside. please put this as your status for at least 1 hour if you or someone you know has an invisible illiness (Chron's, PTSD, Anixiety, Bipolar, Depression, Diabetes, Lupus, Fibromyalgia, MS, ME, Arthritis, Cancer, HEART DISEASE, EPILEPSY, Autism, M.D., Histinocytosis, etc.) "Never judge what you don't understand." IF you truly understand you will support this
A friend posted this on Facebook. I put it as my comment. I think another invisible is living in a family with a narcissistic parent. For a long time I couldn't understand why no one else seemed to see my mother like I did. It wasn't until I was an adult that I found out my sister saw here the same way. I was always told that there was a special bond between my mother and Judy. I was more like my father so it was like I was instantly flawed. I was in counseling before I understood the ongoing performance and the way I was trained to play a part. A part that no matter how well I played it, "I love you but...." was what I heard. "I love you but there is a special bond with your sister." "I love you but I your brother is my favorite." "I love you but I am not going to give you enough to eat so your brother can have seconds." "I love you but...."
I persevered....I kept trying.....I figured I would wear her down eventually to "I love you."
KavinCoach redirected my stream. He taught me to go in a new direction. Now, I feel at peace. I finally don't need to hear it at all from her. I found a new direction. Sometimes running over the same place over and over just not worth doing. I continue to persevere, some people call it being stubborn, and I am happier than I ever knew possible.
6 comments:
"There is a special bond between my mother and Judy."
What the...?
Of course, I was told there was a special bond between you and Dad, which made me an interloper for wanting any of Dad's attention and I couldn't earn it anyway because you were special... Great. Just great. NM always complained about her NM only being able to love one person at a time, and she passed it along with her own special variation.
As to that bond, this is what I was told: When Judy were 9 months old, NM had to go back East because her NM was sick. Judy was left with Dad, who hated small children. By the time NM came back, the cuddly Judy was gone. The connection severed, and Judy was never the same."
EF supported what NM said.
And then someone will say, "Your parents are so wonderful."
It's all I can do not to cough up my cookies on their shoes.
Really twisted. Hugs. We didn't deserve this.
Ruth I was just thinking that every single person I know who has those conditions also come from a Narcissistic family background. I wonder if those conditions are the physical result of being emotionally injured. You know, kind of thinking of the laws of physics and cause and effect and all that. Does it make sense? I'm sorry I'm not feeling very articulate today :P
Not sure, could be there are a lot more narcissistic parents than people realize. I do know that emotional damage causes stress and most of those illnesses and conditions are stress related. I do believe there is a connection.
Just wanted to chime in and say that yes, absolutely, there is a mind-body connection. Search "high-arching mother" and "epigenetics" and you'll find a very classic experiment that shows that nurture affects nature.
(Here's a link: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Epigenetics_in_psychology)
It's rather sad, but it's good to know. Never doubt that physical illness can have roots in emotional distress!
Thank QG.
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