I missed....

I finally got on line tonight and saw a note from NewCounselor wanting to know if I was all right since I never miss an appointment.  Tonight was my appointment?  Checked on the calendar...Nope forgot to write it down.  I sat here thinking that one of the irritating things about teenagers is there irresponsibility and forgetting about important events.  Naw, I can't blame it on that.  As long as I can remember, I have mixed things up.  I am feeling really happy and doing a bunch of activities and just forgot to write it down.  I blew off the feeling earlier today that I needed to check, I thought I was being paranoid.  I wasn't.  I really did need to check.  I love the Will Smith line in a movie, "If they really are out to get you are you still paranoid?"  I think out of 9 years of counseling I have accidentally missed 3 appointments.  I think I can be kind to myself and let go any feelings of needing to punish myself.  I just realized that I didn't call myself stupid.  I did feel quite a bit of anxiety but that was more because I just messed up not that I can't cope without a session.  I am feeling more confident..perhaps that was why I was a little lax about making sure I had the correct days on the calendar.  I am getting a new fancy phone that I will be able to put appointments right on a calendar.  This also feels different than when I would space things when I switched.  I honestly thought it was next week.