If you are inclined to feel offended by jokes about religious members, stop reading now. I tried to find the original version or credit who wrote it. I am not this clever. I copied this directly from a forwarded email. Parts of it are old, some I haven't heard before.
The Pastor's Ass
The Pastor entered his donkey in a race and it won.
The Pastor was so pleased with the donkey that he entered it in the race again and it won again.
The local paper read: PASTOR'S ASS OUT FRONT.
The Bishop was so upset with this kind of publicity that he ordered the Pastor not to enter the donkey in another race.
The next day the local paper headline read: BISHOP SCRATCHES PASTOR’S ASS.
This was too much for the Bishop so he ordered the Pastor to get rid of the donkey.
The Pastor decided to give it to a Nun in a nearby convent.
The local paper, hearing of the news, posted the following headline the next day:
NUN HAS BEST ASS IN TOWN.
The Bishop fainted.
He informed the Nun that she would have to get rid of the donkey so she sold it to a farmer for $10.
The next day the paper read: NUN SELLS ASS FOR $10.
This was too much for the Bishop so he ordered the Nun to buy back the donkey and lead it to the plains where it could run wild.
The next day the headlines read: NUN ANNOUNCES HER ASS IS WILD AND FREE..
The Bishop was buried the next day.
The moral of the story is . . . being concerned about public opinioncan bring you much grief and misery . . even shorten your life. So be yourself and enjoy life.
Stop worrying about everyone else's ass and you'll be a lot happier and live longer!
Have a nice day!
5 comments:
Thanks :-) I laughed my donkey off!
Ha ha ha - thanks Ruth! This cheered up my morning! :-D
I heard this on a record decades ago, I think it was called something like The Bourbon Street Pulpit.
The preacher, Brother Bob, was fiery and energetic and was preaching in a very straight laced church (let's say Presbyterian but I can't remember).
There was a little Pente' lady down the front going for it, yelling "Hallelujah Brother Bob" and such.
As she is escorted from the church by two deacons she says, "Look at me Brother Bob, I'm better than Jesus!"
Brother Bob: How's that sister?
Pente Lady: Jesus only had one donkey and I've got two!
This reminds me of when I was 6 years old and my mother took me with her to choir practise at my dad's church. The choir was singing Christmas hymns in preparation for the upcoming Holiday service. After the choir sang "Silent Night," I loudly asked my mother, "Mom, what does 'virgin' mean?"
It was years before I could understand the reaction I got!
hahahaha Thanks Ruth xx
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