Tuesday, February 5, 2013

Change my perception

"You have to believe in yourself
when no one else does.
That's what makes you a winner."
- Venus Williams

Click Here For Success Tip # 091


 http://roots2blossom.wordpress.com/2013/02/04/what-did-she-mean-by-that-probably-nothing/
 I am fascinated when I read a blog that is so similar to the idea I am working on.  This link to Roots2Blossom also discusses her perception of herself and how she is changing it. 

Growing up I was called names like 'Ding-a-ling' and 'lights are on but nobody's home.'  Driving home how stupid I was.  My mother pointed out how much better my brothers did in school.  I had something to prove.  I took the same classes with the same teachers just to prove I was just as smart.  The desire to prove myself propelled me to the top of my class.  Graduated high school in the top 5% of the class.  I told my mother with pride my accomplishment.  Her only comment, "Well, you just worked harder."  With all the implications that a stupid person would have to work harder to do well.  I was devastated.  After getting married I discovered many things that I was really bad at.  I struggled with cooking.  Housekeeping was overwhelming.  I was at Burrow's Neurological institute and they insisted on giving me an IQ test as part of the test for epilepsy (confirmed that I did not have epilepsy.)  The psychiatrist walked into my room after the tests were finished and declared, "So, you are intelligent."  I heard sarcasm in her comment; the conversation deteriorated badly after that. What I learned is I do have a glitch in my brain that I can't remember nouns.  I can describe everything about it but I can't give you the correct name.  I was blessed with a highly intelligent boss that took my glitch and made a game out of it.  I worked in an animation lab that the work I did was out on the bleeding edge of technology.  I learned that when you work there, you bleed alone.  I still chuckle over the phone call for tech support.  Since I never know who or where I might be calling for computer support I start out using simple terms for the benefit of the caller.  This particular call the person became very annoyed with me and informed me it would be better if he could talk to the computer tech.  I calmly told him that I could put the phone down but when the tech gets on the phone he was still going to be talking to me.  He blustered, "I thought you were the secretary."  I calmly asked him if I was talking to a tech.  His immediate irritated tones told me he didn't like the question.  I went on to explain that at other companies I don't always know if I am talking to a tech.  I then launched into my explanation in painfully techy terms exactly what the problem was and the things I already tried to fix it.  When I finished, there was a long pause then he quietly told me that he would put an engineer on the line to help me resolve the issue.  I needed many experiences to finally convince me that I am not stupid.  I can analyze and solve difficult problems.  I like that about myself.  I also believe that I can learn something from everyone if I take the time to listen.  Ironic that my mother taught her second grade students, "I am smart, I can learn." But she didn't allow that in her own daughters.  I am smart and I learned that I can do most things that I set my mind to do.  I like that.  Weirder still, now my mother tells me how smart I am after I already knew it for myself. 


   

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