Lies and more Lies

"Destiny is not a matter of chance,
it is a matter of choice;
it is not a thing to be waited for,
it is a thing to be achieved."



A back ground of lies makes it difficult to recognize the choices available.  If a door is called a wall a child will believe this.  Causing great confusion when talking to someone else that calls the door, a door.  A child believes what they are told no matter how wrong or distorted.  A child gains understanding of their self from their parents first then followed by teachers or other adult in their lives.  Destructive adults in early years of a child makes it difficult for a child to separate their parents distorted images from who they really are.  A specific example: When I was in seventh grade I took art.  The teacher evaluated us at the end of the semester to determine if we could take another semester of art.  I had leanings towards perfectionism then and tore a hole in my drawing paper trying to erase mistakes.  Each project did not turn out to my satisfaction so I ended up damaging my work trying to correct a perceived error.  The finished project did not turn out well.  The teacher told me at to never take another art class because I was terrible at art.  I believed her.  I never took another art class until my job required me to take Photography so the professors could talk to me about the problems in the digital dark room, a computer lab designed specifically for Juniors, Seniors and grad students in photography. I dove into the class and loved it.  I entered one of my prints into the freshman photo show.  The art director commented, "So you are an artist."  I denied it.  I couldn't possibly be an artist, my teacher told me so.  The greatest challenge I face, I suspect others face it too, are the lies I was told as a child.  I would get very excited about things when I was a child.  I was told to calm down and not be so excitable.  Squashed like a bug for too much excitement.  I learned as an adult this is enthusiasm, when channeled enthusiasm can move mountains.  It is the energy that pushes me through projects.  Gets me moving out of a rut.  I am enthusiastic.  I get excited about the things I do.  I do not need to damp it down or extinguish it.  I can use it to add turbo-boosters to any project.  I was lied to as a child.  Enthusiasm is not a bad thing.  One of the things I love about myself is how enthusiastic I can get over a project event or activity.  I can choose to allow my enthusiasm to shine through.  My drawing teacher helped me to succeed in drawing by taking my eraser away.  

My drawings and my teacher