I took the Red Pill

I wasn't the first one to make the connection.  Kiki at 'The Hardest Battle' wrote a post on taking the Red Pill (For some interesting images describing taking the Red Pill from the Matrix http://www.tumblr.com/tagged/red%20pill%20blue%20pill).  It is that moment in time I decided to look at my own life with my own eyes and see what was there.  I know people that took the Blue Pill to wake up and believe what they want to believe.  The very essence of living authentically is taking the Red Pill.  It is difficult at first.  The changes could be a little or could be massive.  For me, my entire childhood was a mythical illusion.  I joked for years that I had a fantasy childhood, it was wonderful.  Learning how completely it was a fantasy was one of the most difficult challenges I ever faced.  I stood my ground.  I didn't wake up to the dreamland of everything is wonderful and I can continue in the dream.  I grieved over the loss of the fantasy.  I stood my ground.  No quarter asked, none given.  On reflection, I am very proud of not giving in to the pressure to leave my past alone and just keep believing that all was well and only today mattered.  In an interesting way in order for me to move forward I had to look back and stop lying to myself.  To stop the lies in my present, I accepted the challenge of facing the truth of my past.  For me, as long as I believed the lies, they bound me to a past that wasn't mine.  It was painful, difficult, and freeing.  I was fortunate to have an excellent counselor that coached me through the process.  My reward for taking the Red Pill, I was able to integrate.  Healing my view of my past, healed my life in my present.  I am thankful I took the Red Pill.  Nobody could do it for me. 

Finally acknowledging the pieces were all mine.