KavinCoach gave me an assignment to describe who I am. I came back with a lengthy document of things that I do: wife, mother, photographer and on and on about everything I do. KavinCoach failed me and sent me back to the drawing board to figure out who I am. The next thing I wrote was all the things I wasn't. One of the most interesting things I did in art classes was to experience taking away. In carving soap or wood, the object is to carve away what isn't the thing you want. So I then wrote all these things that I am not. Again KavinCoach shook his head. Years later, I am now helping in a class for students learning to become Early Childhood Education teachers (preschool teachers) the class was instructed in "I" statements. After the presentation one of the students piped up, "Nobody talks like that."
Another attempt:
I am curious
I am kind
I am an artist
I am ....running out of things to say.
From this lesson I realized that the challenge KavinCoach offered me is not how people talk very often, especially if you live with a narcissistic personality. There are many "you" statements, "they" statements, but very little claiming of their own actions. When I say "I am ...." , I am owning what I am. It is curiously empowering to say, "I am scared, I am hurt, I am sad, I am funny, I am curious, I am dancing, I am playing in the rain, I am loving, I am kind, I am tired, I am strong, I am loveable."
I love this video of "Jessica's affirmations"
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qR3rK0kZFkg
I am an artist.
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