I am not sure how this will come across. Last night was the last night of how to talk to teens about depression and suicide. The panel of 4 teenagers shared their struggles. One of the kids could have been me talking about no time to be a child or teenager because of the responsibilities laid on her shoulders. I am still processing just how far I have come. I didn't know how to say to her....You need to take the time to be a teenager. Take your life back. Your parents poor decisions are not your responsibility...Then I thought of the challenges and burdens placed on my kids shoulders because of me. I am not so sure I am loving myself much this morning. I feel such a deep ache for all that has happened. One big thing I can share is a very practical way to ask a person where they are at in thinking about suicide. SLAP as the teacher said, "No it does not mean you slap the person."
S - How Specific is their plan.
L - How Lethal is their plan.
A - How Availability is their method of choice.
P - What is the probability on a scale of 1 to 10 that they will carry out their plan.
I hope for every person these are not questions they will never need to ask anyone. However, should the need be there I hope each person has the courage to ask the questions should the need arise. Also don't feel you are the only person to help someone else. Include others especially counselor or another person to give strength. For more information:
http://www.healingofnations.org/sp5.html
This video gives some good information for P he uses proximity instead of probability.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WCTbHw4IoUQ
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| A ray of hope can make all the difference. |
3 comments:
I know when I had two full prescriptions for pain medications for my back, which did not help, I called poison control and asked how to dispose of them. I made the decision to remove the availability of my first choice. A good sign my Probability was pretty low on the scale. Deciding to not give up was huge, but not the end of the struggle. It does make a good touch stone, so to speak. I chose not to give up; I can do it again.
IMO, it came across just fine! ;)
The installation of hope is so important to all of us. But I'm hearing the "ache" of a woman who has made so much progress on her personal journey. It sounds like your kids have a good understanding of "Mom" and the challenges she was facing through out those years. The efforts you have made to remediate these relationships have not been fruitless, Ruth.
And the end of this journey has not been written yet, either!
TW
Last spring, a teen-age girl both my sons knew took her own life after her boyfriend broke up with her. She was just a junior in high school, with her whole life ahead of her. My older son was away at college, and because of finals, he wasn't able to come home for her service. He keeps her picture up on Facebook all the time. My younger son attended. There was no warning, no threat -- she just went home and did it. No one saw it coming. My boys participated in a 5K walk in her honor last spring.
By contrast, my brother has pulled suicide stunts serially for more than 30 years, starting from when I was 15 (he was 25). Drugs, guns, hanging himself, carbon monoxide. Once he went out in his garage and in front of his (then) 2-year-old son, poured gasoline on himself and threatened to light it. He's only come "close" at times when the intervention he was counting on was a bit late.
Given my brother's behaviors for attention and sympathy, I feel like I've lived with suicide nearly my whole life. I've never threatened myself, but I think everyone who struggles with depression thinks about it, at least sometimes.
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