Great date night

“I want the world to be better because I was here. I want my life, I want my work, my family, I want it to mean something and if you are not making someone else’s life better then you are wasting your time” ~ Will Smith

I like Will Smith. I read a few stories about his life. I think my favorite was when he shared how disappointed his mother was in him for going into acting instead of on to college. He said she finally forgave him when he bought her a Mercedes. I enjoyed the movie Pursuit of Happiness, Hitch, and yes I watched Fresh Prince of Bel Air with my kids and a few times on my own. 

DH worked late and so did my daughter so my son-in-law and I attended Gary Chapman evening speaking about his idea of 5 love languages.  http://www.5lovelanguages.com/

J spent most of the evening walking baby J back and forth.  I settled down and tried to hear as much as I could.  The acoustics were terrible.  Hearing was patchy so I watched the audience interact as he discussed each of the five love languages and encouraged the couples to try a bit of each one.  For quality time, he gave the couples 20 seconds to stare into each others eyes.  Totally focused for 20 seconds.  Some of the couples I watched couldn't make the 20 seconds.  Others ended the 20 seconds with a kiss.  J took baby J walking.  For physical touch he encouraged all the couples to stand up and hug each other.  Baby J kept Daddy walking around.  Words of affirmation was a few moments of complimenting each other.  (The new buzz with kids is they respond better to compliments to specific tasks rather than just blanket you're a good kid type compliments.  I think it works well for adults too.) He also reviewed the value of acts of service and receiving gifts.  Dr. Chapman has a gift for getting the audience laughing and when they are feeling open and relaxed sharing the main course.  Then back to some more laughter.  Baby J kept his dad pacing through most of the show.  What was great was the drive home and my son-in-law talking to me about how much he loves my daughter.  How he wants to share that love with her.  WOW - Just WOW.  It was a great date night with my son-in-law.    

The first time I heard the tape about 5 Love languages was years ago in the midst of counseling before integration.  I felt frustrated then because I had no idea which love language spoke to me.  I realized many years later it is hard to know your love language when you don't love yourself.  If you don't feel loved, you don't know what causes you to feel more of what you are not feeling.  Now, I am a lot farther along in my healing process.  I recognize that I like a little bit of everything.  I was delighted when the kids would bring me a gift of dandelion boquets.  A gentle touch can soothe my worry and frustration in a hurry.  Quality time where I feel like the other person really sees me.  Little acts of service like DH feeding my cat when I get home late touches my heart.  A quick loving text from DH in the middle of the day saying he is thinking are words that sing a song to my heart.  The reason I didn't know which one was it, I love all of them.  What's your love language....posititive affirmations, physical touch, acts of service, gifts, or quality time?

Happy Valentines Day.  http://www.history.com/topics/valentines-day

For some fun images Google images search shows amazing artwork all to do with Valentine's day.   The Google logo is also very cool celebrating George Ferris and the Ferris Wheel.