Man Rules ....posted else where

I get this set of Man Rules when I am in the middle of a book called Who Switched Off Your Brain? by Dr. Caroline Leaf.  The book shares documentation and backup with studies showing that men do think, see and act differently at a hardwired level from women.  Their eyes actually do see fewer colors.  However, they can follow action and movement because fewer colors are distracting them.  I was blessed with 3 wonderful boys and 3 awesome girls....yes they were hard wired differently and no they didn't follow all the same rules.  I was always puzzled about the Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus because my reactions were more like the 'men' stereo types.  However, I did see some of these rules played out in my life.  I was sewing costumes and the male director said he wanted the leading actress dressed in red.  I automatically asked if he wanted the red to be a blue-red or an orange-red....(I thought I was being reasonable.)  He exploded and said he wanted a red red!!!!  My reply was, "Do you want it red like a tomato or red like a fire engine?"  He answered slightly more reasonably and said, "Red like a fire engine."  I made her dress a blue-red.  Reading the research I now understand that he didn't see the subtle difference in hue that I spotted immediately.  Unfortunately, he reacted with anger which made the experience unpleasant but now I have learned, he really didn't know what I was talking about.  The studies are interesting but I am slightly opposed to almost any rule setting with people since as soon as you set one rule somebody else will break it.  I loved working in the Art department where men discussed the subtle differences in color.  I worked as a computer tech which was pretty much male dominated.  In the shared bathroom, for politeness, I left the toilet seat up.  After a few months, I walked across to another building to use a women's only restroom.  I learned that there were some of my life experiences that I didn't want my male coworkers knowing about.  Now, I work mostly with women.  I am learning a whole new set of social mores.  It is kind of fun.      



MAN RULES

AT LAST A GUY HAS TAKEN THE TIME TO WRITE THIS ALL DOWN
FINALLY, the guys' side of the story. ( I MUST ADMIT, IT'S PRETTY GOOD.)

WE ALWAYS HEAR 'THE RULES' FROM THE FEMALE SIDE
NOW HERE ARE THE RULES FROM THE MALE SIDE

THESE ARE OUR RULES!

1. MEN ARE NOT MIND READERS.

2. LEARN TO WORK THE TOILET SEAT. YOU'RE A BIG GIRL. IF IT'S UP, PUT IT DOWN. WE NEED IT UP, YOU NEED IT DOWN. YOU DON'T HEAR US COMPLAINING ABOUT YOU LEAVING IT DOWN.

3. CRYING IS BLACKMAIL.

4. ASK FOR WHAT YOU WANT. LET US BE CLEAR ON THIS ONE:

SUBTLE HINTS DO NOT WORK!
STRONG HINTS DO NOT WORK!
OBVIOUS HINTS DO NOT WORK!
JUST SAY IT!

5. YES AND NO ARE PERFECTLY ACCEPTABLE ANSWERS TO ALMOST EVERY QUESTION.

6. COME TO US WITH A PROBLEM ONLY IF YOU WANT HELP SOLVING IT. THAT'S WHAT WE DO. SYMPATHY IS WHAT YOUR GIRLFRIENDS ARE FOR.

7. ANYTHING WE SAID 6 MONTHS AGO IS INADMISSIBLE IN AN ARGUMENT. IN FACT, ALL COMMENTS BECOME NULL AND VOID AFTER 7 DAYS.

8. IF YOU THINK YOU'RE FAT, YOU PROBABLY ARE. DON'T ASK US.

9. IF SOMETHING WE SAID CAN BE INTERPRETED TWO WAYS AND ONE OF THE WAYS MAKES YOU SAD OR ANGRY, WE MEANT THE OTHER ONE.

10. YOU CAN EITHER ASK US TO DO SOMETHING OR TELL US HOW YOU WANT IT DONE. NOT BOTH.
IF YOU ALREADY KNOW BEST HOW TO DO IT, JUST DO IT YOURSELF.

11. WHENEVER POSSIBLE, PLEASE SAY WHATEVER YOU HAVE TO SAY DURING COMMERCIALS.

12. CHRISTOPHER COLUMBUS DID NOT NEED DIRECTIONS AND NEITHER DO WE...

13. ALL MEN SEE IN ONLY 16 COLORS, LIKE WINDOWS DEFAULT SETTINGS..
PEACH, FOR EXAMPLE, IS A FRUIT, NOT A COLOR. PUMPKIN IS ALSO A FRUIT. WE HAVE NO IDEA WHAT MAUVE IS.

14. IF WE ASK WHAT IS WRONG AND YOU SAY 'NOTHING,' WE WILL ACT LIKE NOTHING'S WRONG. WE KNOW YOU ARE LYING, BUT IT IS JUST NOT WORTH THE HASSLE.

15. IF YOU ASK A QUESTION YOU DON'T WANT AN ANSWER TO, EXPECT AN ANSWER YOU DON'T WANT TO HEAR..

16. WHEN WE HAVE TO GO SOMEWHERE, ABSOLUTELY ANYTHING YOU WEAR IS FINE...REALLY.
17.. DON'T ASK US WHAT WE'RE THINKING ABOUT UNLESS YOU ARE PREPARED TO DISCUSS SUCH TOPICS AS FOOTBALL OR MOTOR SPORTS.

18. YOU HAVE ENOUGH CLOTHES.

19 . YOU HAVE TOO MANY SHOES.

20. I AM IN SHAPE. ROUND IS A SHAPE!

21. THANK YOU FOR READING THIS. YES, I KNOW, I HAVE TO SLEEP ON THE COUCH TONIGHT.. BUT DID YOU KNOW MEN REALLY DON'T MIND THAT? IT'S LIKE CAMPING...

PASS THIS TO AS MANY MEN AS YOU CAN - TO GIVE THEM A LAUGH...