Reaction to what Strong people don't do

 A lot to think about on this one.


http://www.lifehack.org/articles/communication/13-things-mentally-strong-people-dont.html



Sometimes an article has a big impact on me and I am not ready to process the information at the time so I put it into my think about it later future post.  This does two things, gives me time to think about it and a reminder to get back to it and give it more careful consideration.  I can say I love the drawing/photograph combination.  Very eye catching and speaks a thousand words in a hurry.

I am going to review them one at a time. To be continued...

1. They Don’t Waste Time Feeling Sorry for Themselves

 I believe there is a big difference between feeling sorry for yourself and acknowledging an event occurred.  Sometimes abusers try to bully their victims into not acknowledging hurtful events by accusing them that they are feeling sorry for themselves.  It was a needed process for me to acknowledge and process painful events in my life.  However, both my counselors cautioned me about the danger of getting 'stuck' in the recounting phase of the healing process.

2. They Don’t Give Away Their Power

I was convinced to give up my power at such an early age I didn't know I had any.  The first time KavinCoach told me to stop giving away my power, I felt completely bewildered by his comment.  I thought, "I don't have any power to give away."  I had zero concept of the God given power that every single soul is born with.  I learned that this power can only be given away, never taken.  Tricked, bullied, brain-washed, oh yeah all those can happen.  Counseling taught me to see what I didn't know I had AND to take back my power.  It was awesome once I understood what I always had but didn't know it was there.

3. They Don’t Shy Away from Change

The very essence of living is change.  Every plant, animal, season and day there is constant change.  I was fascinated that you could track what happened to a snowflake by how the ice crystals grew.  Staying the same and resisting change is inviting insanity.  I don't believe in change for the sake of change simply because I enjoy exercising the power I have to choose change.  Some people I know do enjoy painting a room a differently color just because they want something different.  That is OK....I don't think that change for change sake is wrong, it's just not something I prefer to do.  Maybe I will later and that may be a change I want to explore.  The power of counseling is when the person teams with a healthy therapist to orchestrate a mighty change.  Even more powerful to me is allowing Christ to help me change.  Change is the way we become our best or worse selves.  The choice is ours as to how we change.

4. They Don’t Waste Energy on Things They Can’t Control

I was taught from an early age that I controlled everything....I made my abuser hurt me.....I made my mother angry.....I made my mother sick....I made bad things happen.....I was blamed for all sorts of horrible awful things happening.  Many, many, many, many counseling sessions were spent teaching me what I controlled and what I didn't.  Often the only thing I can control is my attitude.  Reading Corrie Ten Boom and Viktor Frankl http://weareone-ruth.blogspot.com/p/resources-books.html helped me see this most clearly.  I learned that I did not make my abuser hurt me. I did not make anyone angry.  I did not make my mother sick.  Bad things happen without my assistance.  I learned the concept:  "I didn't say it was your fault, I said I was going to blame you."  Part of taking back my power was giving back the power that belonged to someone else.


This is getting long so I will break up into several posts.....there are 9 more to go....


It's back....The Arizona Renaissance Festival....(pictures from years past)