Comparing

One of the biggest challenges I face is comparing myself with others.  My sister and I were 5 years a part yet my mother would compare us to each other.  She would point out to me how much better my sister did in school.  She pointed out to my sister how much smaller I was.  She grew in elementary school, I didn't finish growing until college...very late bloomer.  Stupid thing was that neither one of us was allowed to just be ourselves.

Today I witnessed an eleven year old get her junior black belt in Karate.  One of the other students teased me about testing for this.  (Note: I started Karate last September.)  I felt that old feeling of being inadequate without taking into account my own unique journey.  The girl started karate when she was 3.  I started when I was 56.  Actually we are not even in a similar decade.  I cheered for her when she succeeded.  I caught myself beating myself up that I would not be able to make her progress.

I am sharing my journey here and with others.  Occasionally, I encounter someone that says something like, "I had troubles in my life but nothing like yours."  Then they proceed to beat themselves up for their own lack of progress in life.  Or I sometimes hear someone beat themselves up for not doing as much as I have done.  But in contrast I haven't done some of the things they have done. 

This past year and a half I have put myself in a position of facing my fears.  Finding ways to help myself grow.  There is no need to beat myself up because I am so far behind an 11 year old black belt.  Her journey is different than my mine.  We share similar challenges but each of our journeys are uniquely our own. 

I am delighted that I was able to watch this young lady succeed.  I enjoy watching the Olympics for the same reason.  Hard work on a long journey leading them to a moment.  But what happens after the moment is over?  Do they diminish their triumph because someone else may beat their success?  Do they belittle themselves for the challenges they over came?  Do they dismiss the work they did to get where they are today?  Do I diminish my progress because I didn't go on the same journey?


I felt honored to watch her success....there is no need to beat myself up because she succeeded.  Comparison means very little most of the time.  The only person I need to compare myself to is me.  Am I in a different place then I was a year ago, five years ago, 10 years ago? There is no need to beat myself up over a set back, or a fear that still lingers, or not recognizing that all those tiny baby steps kept me moving.

Standing out alone

Blending in with the crowd

Same and different

Which home is better?