Mentally Strong People Avoid....

Anytime I see information about mentally strong people I want to know what the do and do not do to be that way.  One way to draw a picture is not drawing what is the object but drawing what isn't.  Here are some examples of using negative space in art:
http://www.creativebloq.com/art/art-negative-space-8133765

I found this article on what Mentally Strong People Avoid:
http://www.forbes.com/sites/cherylsnappconner/2013/11/18/mentally-strong-people-the-13-things-they-avoid/

I decided to try and express each of these things to avoid as what are the things mentally strong people do.

Avoid 1.    Waste Time Feeling Sorry for Themselves. There is an important difference between feeling sorry for yourself and evaluating and acknowledging what happened to you.  Feeling sorry for yourself involves an element of blaming and expectations that someone else needs to fix it.  I believe a mentally strong person reviews a situations decides what they have control over and starts there.  No time for a pity party when a plan of action needs to be put in place and implemented.

Avoid 2. Give Away Their Power.  I didn't believe I had any power to give away.  A mentally strong person knows they have power and understands that choosing to act instead of just reacting keeps their power.  As long as I am waiting around for someone else to change their behavior, I am giving away my power to the other person.  I have the power to choose and I choose not to give that away.

Avoid 3.    Shy Away from Change. Embrace change, I don't mean change for the fun of changing or jerking people around. I am talking about choosing a path and moving towards goals. When we have goals and a plan we are embracing the change of our choice.

Avoid 4. Waste Energy on Things They Can’t Control. We can not stop the world from turning. Not possible. Therefor, be willing to go with the orbit.  I can't control rush hour traffic or someone with 100 coupons in the check out line.  However, I can explore different driving routes and time them to see what works best.  I actually cut my driving time in the morning by almost 10 minutes.  I can choose to use my driving time as mental processing time.  I can get in a different line at the check out.  I can reassure the cashier that is apologizing for the slowness to lighten their day.  A mentally strong people know what they can control and what they can't.  A child throwing a screaming temper tantrum is trying to control things they can't, some people don't out grow this.

Avoid 5. Worry About Pleasing Others.   Note to self, there is a difference between choosing to do something that brings someone else pleasure and people pleasing.  Fixing my DH's favorite dinner is pleasing him because I enjoy pleasing him.  Trying to please my nasty boss was impossible simply because his displeasure was not about me.  I believe mentally strong people realize that the reaction of other people is usually about the person reacting.  Mentally strong people are confident that they are acting in a reasonable and fair manor.  They are also willing to make some adjustments but recognize that most people demanding to be pleased can't be.  A mentally strong person has healthy boundaries.

Avoid 6. Fear Taking Calculated Risks. A mentally strong person isn't fearless but they are willing to take risks.  They feel confident in their ability to handle surprise results and make adjustments in their behavior.  A fearful person doesn't do anything for fear the results will not be perfectly as they desire.  Quite off they had experience such out comes.  A mentally strong person recognizes that some things are worth the risk and know that failure is temporary.

Avoid 7. Dwell on the Past. There is a difference between learning from the past and trying to move in. The past is over. Going back there does not change it.  Part of healing is telling your story but I know people that get caught in the loop of telling their story over and over and over without learning anything from it.

Avoid 8. Make the Same Mistakes Over and Over. As noted above, learn from mistakes. Try a new route.   Reassess and make a new plan.  If a mental strong person feels that deja vu of 'been here done that' they try a different solution.  Or try to find a way not to go down the same road, again.

Avoid 9. Resent Other People’s Success. This was not a struggle for me.   I was thrilled when someone esle succeeded.  I experienced several unpleasant interactions before I understood not everyone would be thrilled with my successes.  I also learned about back handed compliments.  Those pesky, "You're great but........"  Mentally strong people rejoice with you.  Besides they are busy creating their own success and don't need to lean on yours.

Avoid 10. Give Up After Failure. As noted earlier, mentally strong people know that failure is temporary.  Too many times people give up just short of when they would succeed.  My sister sent me a post by FrogLogic that encourages a person to work to their fail.  You don't know how far you can go until you push to fail.  I'm still working on this idea. 

Avoid 11. Fear Alone Time. Mentally strong people are one of their own best friends. Being alone means evaluation, planning and pleasure with doing things then enjoy doing alone. There is no need to be afraid of being alone when you love yourself.

Avoid 12. Feel the World Owes Them Anything. Mentally strong people do not feel they are entitled to a life of ease. Their experience taught them that they are not owed anything just because they were born. Since they are not entitled they take responsibility for themselves and their own needs.

Avoid 13. Expect Immediate Results.  Expecting results yesterday only leaves frustration and disappointment in its wake.  Mentally strong people realistically estimate how long things take to do.  A one day diet does not meet a 20 lb weight loss.  Anything worth doing takes time, effort, and a good dose of patience.  I think this last one says mentally strong people are patient with others and themselves. 

Wow  awesome list of qualities.  I wonder if I can come up with one word for each of these?
1. Optimistic
2. Powerful
3. Humble
4. Flexible
5. Confident
6. Adventuresome
7. Forward thinking
8. Teachable
9. Joyful
10. Tenascious
11. Comfortable
12. Self-reliant
13. Patient.

What words would you put with this list?

A new dawn