Tuesday, April 14, 2015

Lack of interest

One of the symptoms of depression is a lack of interest.  I didn't think I ever lacked interest.  I am very curious.  I fell under the category of engineer because I do like pulling things apart and seeing how they work.  I also like fixing broken things.  I love teaching people how to use their computer.  I am interested in so many things.  Well, the dark blanket of depression has slowly lifted over the years.  This month I renewed my interest in crocheting, planted a garden, teaching someone computers, learning to cook....yup, I've done more in a month than I used to do in a year.  I didn't know how intensely curious I am, until the depression started to recede.  It is difficult to be true to myself when I don't know who I am.  I am very excited about the things I am doing.  The crocheting I started to stress out so I made an ugly scarf....yea, I probably couldn't give it away but it gave me a chance to review stitches.  I am astounded at how many webpages and videos are available for free.  I am also learning about cooking, I didn't know that there are 5 mother sauces.  Once I read about them I realized I used all except one.  I never attempted to make my own Hollandaise sauce.  I also ate a yummy dinner with DH that I fixed on Sunday so only needed to heat up today and dinner was ready in 15 minutes.  I didn't realize until now how much depression took a bite out of my curiosity.  Sometimes you got ta come out of the trees to see the forest. 

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