Major Review

I have mentioned before that I am in the process of making a major change in counselors.  This is not something I chose to do.  I always planned to graduate and not need counseling any more.  I even planned out my goodbye, see you later, have a good life speech.  Life happened.  Instead KavinCoach has an opportunity to serve in a way that he looks forward to the challenge in another state.  This of course left me in a state of confusion.  He has kindly offered to help me with the transition.  The toughest part is deciding where am I today?  How much do I need to share for understanding?  How much really is in the category of done now and I don't need to discuss this any more?  The application has a few seemingly simple questions.  Half the questions I could write a whole book.  I could give surface answers but how would that help my progress.  I like how my sister reminds me that we need to stop lying especially to ourselves.  To help others feel comfortable I lied all the time.  "How are you doing today?"  My reply, "Great just great," when inside I was dying.   Answers need to be honest almost brutally honest.  No softening of my reality to salve over what I experienced or did.  I am finding the task far harder than I expected.  Issues to work on ~ faith, forgiveness, pride, fear, I am looking at the list and wonder if I progressed at all.  Then like a long straight highway I look back and realize I have been climbing all along but at such a gradual pace I hadn't realized how far I have come.  KavinCoach did give me one compliment that I appreciate; he said I was light years from the person that first came to his office.  The journey is amazing and I feel like I have just begun.  Feel the fear and move forward with Faith.