Measuring Progress

Today I am sharing an email conversation that I had with a person that shares my challenge.  We always end up looking like we are slower when we start to compare ourselves to someone else's progress.  Especially if that someone else is emotionally healthy.  Children learn so quickly and progress so rapidly that a parents progress looks like they are in the slow lane.   

Your patience and kindness are paying off. Good job.  I wish it felt like a good job...I agree that feeling like a good job is hard. I know for myself I was well programed to feel bad.  I usually have someone around that will point our all my mistakes until that is all I can see.  KavinCoach has taught me to focus more on the progress and less on how far I still need to go.   That's a hard one.  We are working on that too... it's easy to focus on other peoples progress - especially your kids - and  hardest on your own... I'm working on it.  I never thought about being programmed to feel bad, but it makes sense when you consider the environment.  Maybe that's why we work so hard so the kids WON'T have that! I think you are very accurate with your observation.  In my opinion, it is especially hard when we compare ourselves to our children.  They learn by leaps and bounds at that age plus they are not hampered by trying to persuade a whole team to go along with the idea.  New perspective.  If 1 child goes 10 feet it looks like they have made big progress.  If you move 1 foot and persuade 10 others to go the same foot.  Who had the most work to do? ooh - I really like that!  You should share that on your blog.  I think that would help EVERY mother, not just multiples

KavinCoach encouraged me to measure my own progress against where I am today compared to a year ago.  The discouragement I feel with healing emotionally that the path seems to be a zigzag of set backs, side trips, and distractions.  Week to week my progress can be all over the place.  However when I go back and read emails from a year or more ago, I start to see that I am really making progress.  I think this is the value of keeping a journal.  You can see your progress over time.  You can also see where the same problem keeps plaguing you.  An occasional self review, especially if you give yourself credit for the good you are doing, can be a healthy way to make corrections in your life plan.