Started work yesterday at the school. I fell asleep as soon as I got home and with only a few brief wakeups I slept for 12 hours. It was awesome. I haven't slept 12 hours in years. I feel so much better. I woke up in time to check my comments and head back to school.
The comment I read was from Jonsi. She wrote:
"I wanted to blog about it because I think the "I'm not perfect" excuse is ridiculous. No one is asking ANYONE to be perfect. We're only asking for responsibility, accountability, and respect"
She really captured what I am trying to say. What was even more amazing was what I read afterward while eating breakfast. (I am struggling through a book called Boundaries and Relationships - knowing, protecting, and enjoying the self by Charles L Whitfield. Tough read for me since most of the information is written like he assumes I know what he is talking about. I am suspecting his audience of choice is other counselors not people like me with severe PTSD and no concept of boundaries, healthy or otherwise.)
This was way cool:
"We reclaim our personal power through a process of increasing awareness and by taking responsibility for our well being and functioning: Power = Awareness + Responsibility. And part of that power is by setting boundaries and limits."
Wow. It was like all the things I struggled with wrapping my mind around came together in this one statement. I am not perfect and I am aware I am not perfect and I take responsibility for my imperfections. What I didn't realize that this is a major key to personal power. I now understand when I hear the excuse, "I'm not perfect" or the variation "That's just the way I am" I get so frustrated. It is like the person giving the excuse is wallowing in their imperfection refusing to change anything. Like a pig wallowing in mud, they are content to give away their power to change and improve our relationship. I ain't perfect. If I know I been bad, I have every intention of taking responsibility for what I have done and apologize to the appropriate party involved and learn better ways to behave. I ain't perfect, but I am pretty good. I can keep working on being better because I like being healthy but I am still acceptable as I am right now. As my awareness increases I want to improve myself to meet my new standard of being. But for some people, no matter how good I get, I ain't good enough because they would rather blame me than get out of their own mud. Just a lot of thoughts that seem to have come together with a bang for me. Thanks for the many comments that helped get me here.
I have something fun planned for tomorrow. Enjoy.
6 comments:
Once again, the AA slogan that tells us to strive for "Progress not Perfection" fits the bill!
I like the idea that building boundaries is a personal responsibility. It helps avoid self-pity and resentment which are two of the major character defects I discovered when working the fourth step.
Great post!
Hugs P/M
Thanks P/M, I like "Progress not Perfection." That is a great slogan. Self-pity and resentment are two traits NewCounselor is helping me to eliminate from my life. Thanks for the comment.
Ruth :)
Awareness + Responsibility = Power
Love this, but I think it's going to take a while to internalize this.
I agree. I learned there are a few steps between understanding theory and applying it in my life.
:)
"But for some people, no matter how good I get, I ain't good enough because they would rather blame me than get out of their own mud." Best. Comment. Ever.
Thanks. :)
Post a Comment