Conversions

I needed some laughs this week and my friend sent me this email.  I should not have opened it at work.  I wanted to keep laughing instead of getting my work done. 

   WHO thinks this stuff up ???? !!!!!

1 million microphones = 1 megaphone
1 million bicycles = 2 megacycles
500 millinaries = 1 seminary
2000 mockingbirds = 2 kilomockingbirds
10 cards = 1 decacards
1/2 lavatory = 1 demijohn
1 thousandth of a fish = 1 microfiche
453.6 graham crackers = 1 pound cake
1 trillion pins = 1 terrapin
1 million billion piccolos = 1 gigolo
10 rations = 1 decoration
100 rations = 1 C-ration
10 millipedes = 1 centipede
3 1/3 tridents = 1 decadent
10 monologues = 5 dialogues
5 dialogues = 1 decalogue
2 monograms = 1 diagram
8 nickels = 2 paradigms
2 wharves = 1 paradox
1 kilogram of falling figs: 1 Fig Newton
1000 grams of wet socks: 1 literhosen
100 Senators: Not 1 decision
365.25 days: 1 unicycle
365.25 days of drinking low-calorie beer: 1 lite year
16.5 feet in the Twilight Zone: 1 Rod Serling
1,000,000 aches: 1 megahurtz        
2000 pounds of Chinese soup: Won ton
1 thousandth mouthwash: 1 microscope
Ratio of an igloo's circumference to its diameter: Eskimo Pi
2.4 statute miles of intravenous surgical tubing at Yale University Hospital: 1 IV League
Speed of a tortoise breaking the sound barrier: Mach Turtle
Time it takes to sail 220 yards at 1 nautical mile per hour: Knot/furlong
Half of a large intestine: 1 semicolon
Weight an evangelist carries with God: 1 billigram
Basic unit of laryngitis: 1 hoarse power
Shortest distance between two jokes: A straight line
Time between slipping on a peel and smacking the pavement: bananosecond
Given the old adage "a journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step," the first step of a one-mile journey: 1 Milwaukee