Week of gratitude...

...isn't complete without addressing those things that bothered me.  There are some things that are just tough to be thankful for, like immunizations.  They hurt at the time but help your body fight a bigger battle.  Or like Corrie Ten Boom questioning her sister as to why she should thank God for the fleas.  A fellow blogger wrote a wonderful post on not wishing for bad things in our lives just so we can learn from them. http://n-continuum.blogspot.com/2011/11/acceptance-gratitude-2011.html 

In my life I have had things happen that just happened, seem to have no rhyme or reason.  Other things it is not until I look back on the series of events that I recognize how something bad helped me when I needed it most.  I had cancer and what I learned from that helped me to survive counseling.  I do not believe the twisted theory that I wished for these tough things to happen in my life.  No little child wished for the abuse that happened to them.  Telling a 3 year old that they attracted their abuser is absurd.  Telling an adult the same thing can be equally absurd.  I do believe I can put myself in harms way but staying out of harms way doesn't guarantee a free pass to no problems.  Blaming the victim that they brought it on themselves is a cop out.  Bad things happen.  Full stop.  My gratitude comes in the things that I see happen around a difficult event.  People step up and become their best selves by pitching in to work together to solve a problem.  Sometimes help comes from a person you would least expect.  When I had cancer, I received get well cards from coworkers I barely knew.  Trying to wrap my mind around the impact cancer had on my life I did a photography show on the emotional effect that cancer had on me.  One of the students that came to the show, his mother died the year before from breast cancer.  He almost didn't go to the show.  He finally decided to come and take a look at the impact of cancer on my life.  He commented in my sign-in book that for the first time he understood what happened while he was away at college with his mother.  He felt closure.  I am not thankful for cancer itself.  I am thankful that I was able to help someone else come to grips with this ugly disease.  I like the metaphor that life is like a huge tapestry and that it would loose its richness if all the dark threads were removed.  In dark room photography, the goal is to have a wide range of grays from the blackest blacks up through the palest grays almost white.  If all you have is light colors, the image looks flat.  I think the way I can best describe what I mean is I am thankful for the richness and diversity in life.  My experiences with the darkest parts of my life intensify my gratitude for the most joyful parts of my life.  My best parts of my life are often the toughest.  I don't need to hope for bad things in my life so I can learn, I am thankful when I can learn good things from the bad stuff that happens.