Counseling one huge learning experience. Like any education, there is theory then there is reality. Last week part of the battle plan was to set aside what I am working on in counseling during the week. Great idea in theory. Not so good in practical application. Crumbs.
One of the parts of counseling is telling your story. Sharing your perspective. Spilling your guts. Epic fail when in the first 6 months of counseling my counselor knew more about my past then I did. He recognized my symptoms and the most likely things that caused how I behaved. I worked long and hard but most of my past is still illusive to me. I enjoy watching Unforgettable about a woman that remembers everything. My memories are strands of a spider web, thin, nearly invisible, and I easily get tangled in them without realizing I am in a mess until too late. Need to rethink the battle plan. Make adjustments. Stalking my own mind to find the point where I break through and untangle my past. My first choice would be to leave it strictly alone. Let it smolder and grump but not mess with it. Unfortunately, it keeps erupting and interfering with now. Ignoring it does not improve it. Screaming at it does not improve it. Deep breath. One step forward, ten back. Redirect. Rethink. Twisted thinking takes a long time to straighten out.