Since when it is a wasted day if you take the time to cuddle with your child? Since when is mourning a crime that needs to be hurried through? Why are people so bent on being happy and productive that they throw out those things that add a richness and depth of life that things will never replace.
In my study of depression, I am encountering a unexpected results by paying attention to the people around me that are accused of being depressed. Mourning a loved one is becoming unacceptable. It is not something that you should just "get over" so you can move on to the pseudo happy that everyone is spouting about. A beloved pet, someone you love, or loss of childhood are all things worth mourning. Mourning is now being lumped in with depression. I experienced mourning and it truly feels quite different from depression. Just because I am sad, doesn't mean I am indulging in a pity party or depressed.
Too many times I heard that I wasted my day because I spent time cuddling my kids. I even looked up the research to show that cuddle time is beneficial for infants and children. My NM crowed about how productive she was by multi-tasking. This translated to doing a cross word puzzle when people came to visit. Telling us to stop interfering so that she could work...after all she was the most productive worker in the house. She took great pride in marking things off her list...cuddle time was not productive so not on the list. Nurturing does not always show as a physical end product but makes all the difference in a relationship.
Happy and productive at the expense of mourning and cuddling throws out the best and keeps second best. Sadder still are those that rewrite history so nothing ever bad happened even if they have to lie about. They blindly believe they are showing the world how happy and productive they are at the expense of integrity and authentic living. My life sucks some times. Ironically, I learned some of the greatest lessons in the low valleys. Overcoming those challenges brought me to the dizzying heights of joy.
I am enjoying cuddling grandkids because it really is one of the best ways to spend a day.
I am mourning with those that mourn for I learned that this strengthens a relationship and brings a depth of feeling that I never felt when I was just happy.
Vent done.... I will now get off my soap box.