To Life...

To live is the rarest thing in the world. Most people exist, that is all.

Oscar Wilde

I watched Fiddler On the Roof and loved the song "To Life..." Toasting the joy of living. The music is lively and upbeat.  The chorus is particularly interesting:

Be happy, be healthy, long life
And if our good fortune never comes
Here's to whatever comes

How many people are desperately seeking the good life only to find that they missed living it?

Another quote "Life is what happens to you while you're busy making other plans." John Lennon, "Beautiful Boy" English singer & songwriter (1940 - 1980)

How often people say....
      When I graduate, then I will be happy.
      When I get married, then I will be happy.
      When I get a new job, then I will be happy.
      When I get out of therapy, then I will be happy.

I watch so many people frantically scrambling through life meeting goals, checking task off their list, meeting others expectations yet spend very little time enjoying a sunset, holding a baby, petting a kitty, taking a moment to breath.  If it is not on the list, it just isn't done. 

New counselor asked me what was I like before the abuse happened to me?  I was 4 years old.  I remember at 5 watching my little sister and being totally enthralled with her.  I loved butterflies and rain.  From then to now, a lot has happened... There were so many moments and miracles that were lost in the shuffle of surviving.  I wonder if I would appreciate the sunrise as much if the dark didn't happen first?  I wonder if I would appreciate cuddling a grandchild so much if I hadn't struggled with feelings of suicide?  I wonder if I would appreciate food less if I hadn't gone hungry?  I believe trials and struggles are a curious thing.  Either I went numb from life or it heightened and sharpened every experience.  I felt both.  I enjoy the enhanced life over the numb life.  I am learning that I get to choose.  I am choosing LIVING.