I can't hear you

Actions speak louder than words. We can apologize over and over, but if our actions don’t change, the words become meaningless.  — Unknown
 http://positiveoutlooksblog.com/2014/06/12/meaningless-apology/

I can't hear you, your actions are drowning out your words. 

If you always do what you always done.....then you always get what you always got.

All these quotes come to my remembrance in preparation for my next parent chat.  In the past, I remained silent and compliant.  In the past, I excused their behavior.  In the past............The past is past, this is now.  Several things are essential as I move forward.

1. I define what is a healthy boundary for me.
2. I may point out aspects they may not consider but I don't expect them to believe anything except what  they want to believe.
3. The time for anger is past.  Anger is useful in flagging my attention when a boundary is crossed.  It is counter productive in boundary setting and negotiation phase. 
4.  Speaking my truth is about me and putting on record that they have been told.  (Yes, my mother complained that it doesn't help if I don't tell them....so I am going to tell them.)
5.  I can walk away, however, what I do and say will affect others.....I am not an island, others are involved.
6.  I have the right to speak my mind, I have the responsibility of the consequences of doing so.
7.  Years of poor behavior will not alter due to a 30 minute conversation.
8.  Setting healthy boundaries are not set in stone.  Sometimes to stay healthy boundaries need to rise or lower as needed.
9.  Extreme ultimatums are useless.  Most people can't wrap their minds around extremes.
10. Keep in mind my ultimate goal of where this conversation needs to go. 

Time to sleep, time to plan, time to talk, reinforce boundaries.....repeat.