We're Done

Tragic circumstances sometimes bind a country together or can blow a family apart.  A pacemaker in my Dad, a very strung out, tense, and worrisome situation.  The possibility of our family pulling together to get over a hurdle existed.  It started out hopeful in a difficult situation but quickly turned ugly when mommy dearest manned the battle stations because we dared to take her car keys away.  She's 85 and totaled their car in the last 6 months.  She shuffles when she walks.  She can barely get her feet in the car.  She grimaces and she groans as she struggles in the car.  She hysterically exclaims she is not going to answer the phone when people call inquiring about how my Dad is doing.  She demands that you feel her feet so you know the agony she is in every moment of her day.  My way of thinking if she can't walk to the phone because her feet can't bare it then breaking a car in an emergency is totally beyond her capability....details.  She wants her independence and she will lie, pout, scream her way to what she wants.  This whole ordeal has brought out the worse in mother.  My sister and I don't have one patient we have two, one is physically ill and the other one is mentally ill.  I watched with awe as my sister told our irresponsible parents that she was done with trying to care for and watch over them.  I agree.  I am so tired I fell asleep at a restaurant that we visited with a friend.  But they blithely ignore doctor's advice, seek another answer they like better from someone else, and don't take into consideration that my Dad died on the operating table.  He could die if he doesn't take care of himself and that would leave mother here.  Not just no but hell no.  Well, my sister put her boundaries back into place.  I watched and supported her.  My husband stood with us and watched as mother desperately tried to manipulate my sister. My sister said she was done and I stand with her.  We learned today that there is no happy family for us.  We're sad.  We'll survive, we always have.  I am really proud of my sister.  She is an amazing woman and not knowing her is my parents' loss.