I am learning to love lists when I am counting my blessings:
Blessing one....I told my parents the unvarnished truth. Doesn't make any difference if they believe me or not.
Blessing two....my husband stood with me and saw my mother's weird behavior to my sister and I. He then validated what happened.
Blessing three....my sister and I are done with the games.
Blessing four....The truth will make you free but first it makes you really miserable....I made it through miserable without backing down.
Blessing five....I know that I will not give mother the car keys no matter how much she sulks, throws barbs, or just plain nasty to me. I stood firm.
Blessing six....I decide how much is enough.
Blessing seven....I am free to walk away, I chose to stay engaged. I decide that level of engagement.
Blessing eight....I am not responsible for my mother's happiness....I finally believe this statement...down to my deepest core.
Blessing nine....I feel free from her and my father's unreasonable demands to tolerate emotional abuse. I don't have to.
Blessing ten.....I am not responsible for my father's poor choices.
Ten amazing blessings in just 3 weeks time. This was not how I was planning to spend my summer vacation. That's OK. I am done, freed, and feeling peace. Wow.
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| Blooming in the barbs |
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| Getting out of the swirling slime |
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| A new dawn |
2 comments:
KevenCoach etc. gave you what you needed, Ruth. They knew you were "Ready to launch" and they knew if you weren't given an opportunity in "The Field" to exercise your skills, you would never have developed the confidence you *needed* to believe in yourself. The goal was to foster INDEpendence, not DEpendence. There's only one way to do that: Show you they believed in you and the work you had done together. Experience trumps words any day. How would you ever have known their confidence was warranted if you weren't given the opportunity? How else would you believe "down to my deepest core" you were ready and prepared if they had not giving you your "wings" and encouraged you to fly?
And here you are today: A list of your "Bottom Lines" as well as the confidence to know you do have choices, you do have worth and dignity as a human being and YOU get to decide of your own volition when, where, how much of "you" you'll compromise-OR NOT-to interact with your parents?
And yep, I noticed you're focusing on what you're doing that's "right" for YOU. And how blessed you are to have all of "you" intact and making informed decisions which place you as the fulcrum of your life.
And rightfully so.
It may take some time to feel peace regularly when it's such a foreign feeling and experience. That you feel any sense of peace at all is a testament to how "right" it's all come together. Each time you face a challenge and confront it, you're gaining.
That's the very definition of courage.
TW
Thank you TW. I appreciate your observations and encouragement. It feels good. Big smile.
Ruth
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