Sunday, June 15, 2014
United we stand
"Alone we can do so little;
together we can do so much."
- Helen Keller
When I was a teenager one of the popular songs had a chorus:
For united we stand
Divided we fall
And if our backs should ever be against the wall
We'll be together, together, you and I
One of the tactics used by my parents is to isolate us and to tell us to be quiet....just let things go.....back off. One lie to one person and a different one to someone else. Years ago during my first year of counseling, my sister and I started comparing notes. We discovered that our mother pitted us against each other, purposely stirred up contention or implied that we each sided with her on different issues. We found validation from each other. We filled in stories that were half told. We recognized the lies together. Now we are showing a united front. New accusation, "you're being mean and ganging up." My answer, "DAMN STRAIGHT" We teamed up. We support each other. We are sharing our experiences. We are silent no more. Buckle up ButterCup, we are in for a wild ride.
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3 comments:
Just checking the box doesn't cut it. I LOVE this!!!
Ohhh, boy! This ought to be good!!!
Let your Faith and Truth ring-LOUDLY! Will you be heard? OHHELLNO!
But it sure will feel good ;) Be fearless: Truth and your Faith will pull you through.
Always has, always will.
TW
I'm so glad you and your sister have each other. I think it really speaks to how much you two have worked towards healing.
I'm in my 30s now, but when my sister and I were in my 20s, we finally came back around to each other (we had been so splintered by our family's divorce and the aftermath, that we really despised each other.) But when we finally started talking, comparing notes, we also realized that our mother had pitted us against each other and blamed the other for all of the issues in our family.
I remember feeling relieved and hopeful. That somehow we would be able to deal with NM as a team. And for awhile it was that way (NM HATED this and also accused us of "teaming up" and "talking behind her back".)
Unfortunately, in the end, my sister went back to siding with my mother. She refused to take responsibility for her life and grow up, and NM enabled that. And she preferred being enabled by NM to living a more truthful life.
It always makes me sad that, somewhere, I know she knows the truth about our mother, but refuses to acknowledge it.
I'm so happy for you that you have each other. Thinking of you both!
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