(Garfield chases Odie up a tree.)
Jon: Odie! Dogs can't climb trees!
Garfield: It's amazing what one can do when one doesn't know what one can't do.
(19 Jan 1982) Garfield Comic http://en.wikiquote.org/wiki/Garfield
“It's kind of fun to do the impossible.”
Walt Disney quotes (American motion-picture Producer, pioneer of animated cartoon films. 1901-1966)
For 14 years, I worked in computer labs and tried to keep them up and running. I kept Disney's quote up in my office. When the Garfield comic first ran, I cut it out and put it on my refrigerator. I like Henry Ford's view of the perfect employee. All tackled what someone told them couldn't be done.
I did many things in my life that I told myself I couldn't do. I would ignore my own negative voice put my head down and start moving forward. Sometimes that pace was a crawl but moving forward means you are not moving backward. I would run into a road block and I would think, "Over it, around it, through it, reinvent it." KavinCoach complained about my 'do or die attitude.' Ease up. I was driven to survive. I didn't seem to realize that I could go at a less stressful pace and enjoy the view more. There is one advantage of a driven attitude, you can do the impossible.
When I finally read the paper KavinCoach wrote for my work specifically stating my diagnosis I went to the university library and found 10 books spanning 40+ years of research on multiple personalities. The more I read the more my head spun. I read the early research and thanked God that nobody knew what was wrong with me when I was a teenager. Research and attitudes changed a LOT. After reading all the books I was so grateful that KavinCoach was the one teaching me how to live. He assured me that I was the only one that knew how I would integrate. I had an impossible task with no instructions on how to do it. I prayed and was shown one bit at a time. Here a little, there a little. I kept in counseling, studying, doing homework, writing, taking pictures, remembered many images from my past, I put my head down and kept moving forward.
I am a visual person. I actually think in images. When I thought about integration, I felt like I was on the edge of a deep ravine with a raging river below. I looked both ways but their was no bridge to cross. There were few materials on my side of the bank to build the bridge. I finally stopped looking at integration and started building a better me. I learned to like all the personalities. I learned to get them to cooperate and use their strengths to solve a problem. I stopped trying to cross the ravine and concentrated on becoming a better person every day. I started treating myself with respect. I started to paying attention to what I needed to be healthy. I kept thinking about what kind of person I wanted to be. I worked towards becoming that person. The day I took my Apple Computer Exam and passed it, I walked out of the test exhilarated and said, "I passed it." I was stunned. I had just done the impossible. I realized that day, there was just one I. In my effort to become a better person. I crossed over the ravine to integration. I looked back. The ravine was still there. Still there was no bridge. This is when I knew that while I was focused on improving myself Christ bridged the gap between what I could do for myself and what I couldn't do for myself. I know some people do not believe that Jesus Christ is our savior. I know that some people would discount what I am saying. That is OK. I know for myself that if I did all that I could Christ would make up the difference. I can honestly say I don't know how I did the impossible. I just know that I did my part to improve myself. I did my part to make healthy choices. Christ filled in the missing pieces. I am one personality and I feel like a won an Oscar, the Superbowl, and the Triple Crown. The joy and peace is a feeling that I never experienced as a multiple. I thank my Heavenly Father for blessings I can not count for so great is their number.
Jon: Odie! Dogs can't climb trees!
Garfield: It's amazing what one can do when one doesn't know what one can't do.
(19 Jan 1982) Garfield Comic http://en.wikiquote.org/wiki/Garfield
“It's kind of fun to do the impossible.”
Walt Disney quotes (American motion-picture Producer, pioneer of animated cartoon films. 1901-1966)
For 14 years, I worked in computer labs and tried to keep them up and running. I kept Disney's quote up in my office. When the Garfield comic first ran, I cut it out and put it on my refrigerator. I like Henry Ford's view of the perfect employee. All tackled what someone told them couldn't be done.
I did many things in my life that I told myself I couldn't do. I would ignore my own negative voice put my head down and start moving forward. Sometimes that pace was a crawl but moving forward means you are not moving backward. I would run into a road block and I would think, "Over it, around it, through it, reinvent it." KavinCoach complained about my 'do or die attitude.' Ease up. I was driven to survive. I didn't seem to realize that I could go at a less stressful pace and enjoy the view more. There is one advantage of a driven attitude, you can do the impossible.
When I finally read the paper KavinCoach wrote for my work specifically stating my diagnosis I went to the university library and found 10 books spanning 40+ years of research on multiple personalities. The more I read the more my head spun. I read the early research and thanked God that nobody knew what was wrong with me when I was a teenager. Research and attitudes changed a LOT. After reading all the books I was so grateful that KavinCoach was the one teaching me how to live. He assured me that I was the only one that knew how I would integrate. I had an impossible task with no instructions on how to do it. I prayed and was shown one bit at a time. Here a little, there a little. I kept in counseling, studying, doing homework, writing, taking pictures, remembered many images from my past, I put my head down and kept moving forward.
I am a visual person. I actually think in images. When I thought about integration, I felt like I was on the edge of a deep ravine with a raging river below. I looked both ways but their was no bridge to cross. There were few materials on my side of the bank to build the bridge. I finally stopped looking at integration and started building a better me. I learned to like all the personalities. I learned to get them to cooperate and use their strengths to solve a problem. I stopped trying to cross the ravine and concentrated on becoming a better person every day. I started treating myself with respect. I started to paying attention to what I needed to be healthy. I kept thinking about what kind of person I wanted to be. I worked towards becoming that person. The day I took my Apple Computer Exam and passed it, I walked out of the test exhilarated and said, "I passed it." I was stunned. I had just done the impossible. I realized that day, there was just one I. In my effort to become a better person. I crossed over the ravine to integration. I looked back. The ravine was still there. Still there was no bridge. This is when I knew that while I was focused on improving myself Christ bridged the gap between what I could do for myself and what I couldn't do for myself. I know some people do not believe that Jesus Christ is our savior. I know that some people would discount what I am saying. That is OK. I know for myself that if I did all that I could Christ would make up the difference. I can honestly say I don't know how I did the impossible. I just know that I did my part to improve myself. I did my part to make healthy choices. Christ filled in the missing pieces. I am one personality and I feel like a won an Oscar, the Superbowl, and the Triple Crown. The joy and peace is a feeling that I never experienced as a multiple. I thank my Heavenly Father for blessings I can not count for so great is their number.
5 comments:
Happy for you that you had your faith to guide you!
WHOOHOO!! All things are possible with God.
Thank you mulderfan and Laurel.
" I know for myself that if I did all that I could Christ would make up the difference."
This is so beautiful.
Thanks nolongerrunning.
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