Elbert Hubbard
Chameleon, people pleaser, shadow of a person... Definitions for an ultimate survivor. Terror, nausea, victim... The inside view of an ultimate survivor. The ones with the most courage didn't survive. Vanquished, annihilated, doomed. The few that could twist and turn in the wind...change in a blink...disappear into a space within themselves that their abuser couldn't reach them. The child disappeared... The shell remained... Sometimes unmanned but mostly another would take the place. Specially designed to survive that situation. Traumatized...sliding into a gray void where the tormentors words could flow over you, through you, and around you but never touch you. One became two...two became...three...four...five.... Why didn't I reunite when I was young... Perhaps because ....there was no end to the nightmare....Perhaps all the parts had a purpose in the survival of the whole.... perhaps no one will ever know since the answers lay hidden deep in my mind where even I don't want to go.
Few people, professional or other wise, acknowledge the severe damaged caused by a constant flow of criticism. No piece of clay turns into a pot if it is constantly pulverized into nothingness. Acid rain on the garden every droplet increasing the damage. Grayness... nothingness...disappearing into the void....
A sliver of hope shines into the grayness...alluring....drawing....struggling to reach its opening.....
Some never found that sliver of hope...disappeared from life...those that found and strove towards hope eventually attained a place of decision. Move forward into the light of hope or cower in the grayness.
Choices impossible to articulate...Stepping out of the grayness...Into the hope that life is good...people are kind...there is another choice...I found my sliver of hope.... I strengthened my resolve... I stepped into the light... from victim to survivor to Thriving. Many said that it couldn't be done. 20,000 lemmings can be wrong. Find your hope and focus on that piece that tells you the criticism is wrong... Hang on.........
Chameleon, people pleaser, shadow of a person... Definitions for an ultimate survivor. Terror, nausea, victim... The inside view of an ultimate survivor. The ones with the most courage didn't survive. Vanquished, annihilated, doomed. The few that could twist and turn in the wind...change in a blink...disappear into a space within themselves that their abuser couldn't reach them. The child disappeared... The shell remained... Sometimes unmanned but mostly another would take the place. Specially designed to survive that situation. Traumatized...sliding into a gray void where the tormentors words could flow over you, through you, and around you but never touch you. One became two...two became...three...four...five.... Why didn't I reunite when I was young... Perhaps because ....there was no end to the nightmare....Perhaps all the parts had a purpose in the survival of the whole.... perhaps no one will ever know since the answers lay hidden deep in my mind where even I don't want to go.
Few people, professional or other wise, acknowledge the severe damaged caused by a constant flow of criticism. No piece of clay turns into a pot if it is constantly pulverized into nothingness. Acid rain on the garden every droplet increasing the damage. Grayness... nothingness...disappearing into the void....
Some never found that sliver of hope...disappeared from life...those that found and strove towards hope eventually attained a place of decision. Move forward into the light of hope or cower in the grayness.
Choices impossible to articulate...Stepping out of the grayness...Into the hope that life is good...people are kind...there is another choice...I found my sliver of hope.... I strengthened my resolve... I stepped into the light... from victim to survivor to Thriving. Many said that it couldn't be done. 20,000 lemmings can be wrong. Find your hope and focus on that piece that tells you the criticism is wrong... Hang on.........
6 comments:
What a beautiful expression of your truth. I commend you for finding your way out of the darkness and into the light.
Beautifully written Ruth!
Makes me think of the song "We Shall Overcome".
(((Hugs))) P/M
Thank you Cheshire.
Thanks mulderfan, I enjoy seeing the P/M. Makes me smile every time. Thanks for the hug too.
perfectly stated. xxxxx Keep strong -i need to tell myself that too. Haven't started a blog yet but I may do. Am worried it will be found by the FOO.
Good for you! Thanks for being an inspiration.
Thank you Anon, it is a legitimate concern. Private blog by invitation only may be an option.
Thanks Laurel, I appreciate your encouragement.
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