It is not possible to fight beyond your strength even if you strive.
Adrenalin was not known to Homer. This substance stored in the adrenal glands can boost human strength into super power levels. Reports of feats due to burst of adrenalin encourage athletes to pump up their own levels of adrenalin to get the 'light your after burners' pizzazz performance. Unfortunately, there is a down side. Adrenalin puts a lot of wear and tear on the body. Hans Selye spent a life time studying our bodies pep drug released by stress. Adrenalin causes a buzz. The body is amazing at adjusting to whatever is thrown at it, so a bigger risk is required to get the same buzz. People can get addicted to it and take bigger and bigger risk to maintain that buzz. Then there are those of us that simply going to sleep drops us into a heart pounding terrifying place. Solution...don't sleep. Adrenalin gets exhausted...so does the body. Deep into sleep deprivation I can snatch a few peaceful hours of sleep. Too much sleep and the nightmares kick in. This was one of the things I thought would be solved with integration. I thought being a multiple personality caused the extreme nightmares. I integrated and the dreams were still there. Crumbs - crumbs - double crumbs. I know that adrenalin is not the real enemy. However, the body doesn't seem to know the difference between a tiger in the wild and a tiger in my mind. My body reacts the same either way. Tonight on facebook I read an interesting quote: "Everything you want is on the other side of fear. (posted by With All Your Heart)" My comment: 'Embrace it, absorb it, let it flow through you then the fear doesn't matter any more.' One of my parts could do this. NewCounselor suggested to me several times to use all my strengths that I learned through my experiences. One part felt no fear. (Didn't feel anything else either.) What if, I tap into this ability to stop adrenalin rush when fear steps in? Would I then be able to sleep? Have dreams? And let the fear flow through without it causing the adrenalin to kick in? Homer needed to come face to face with a fear that kicked him into over drive...then he would know that we really don't have a clear understanding of what our strengths are until under extreme stress.
2 comments:
Crap!!!!!! I thought being able to tap into any of the alters qualities or abilities at any time was one of the upsides of integration! You're saying it isn't???!!!!
I don't know about how it worked for other people. I just know for me that I am having to learn how to access certain traits. Having no emotions is a down side. So isolating to just one emotion is a dangerous game since I don't want to go back to feeling no emotion of any kind. Before integration some of these reactions were like hitting your knee reflex, they just happened. Now, I have more control and can refine the process. I am experimenting with what works for me now and still maintain healthy choices. Integration has its own set of challenges and from time to time I do miss splitting but then I learn a new way of using my skills and I am not sorry any more. However, I still have to learn how to use some of the talents in a healthy way.
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