Mental slavery

Tumbling into the future
Somewhere at some time, you made a choice to sacrifice some part of yourself in exchange for something else of value: acceptance, money, security, affection, love — and it is time to be honest with yourself about that exchange, and begin to stop treating yourself as if you are only some kind of market commodity that can be traded away. We all need to make compromises in life, of course. And we all need to make a living doing something, not always what we would choose necessarily if we had total power to choose, but there is a line over which we shouldn't cross, where compromise becomes death, where too much of our soul and spirit is traded away. It is very very important to know where that line is.
By B L I S S I I M O

Clicking on 'Tumbling into the future' takes you to the link on facebook of the amazing photograph that goes with this quote.  I am not sure who BLISSIIMO is but the page is worth a bit of time browsing.  I notice that when something is really bugging me I am treated to some of the most amazing photographs and quotes.  I accept that I don't trust my own heart so hearing something I need to hear from another source is my inspiration.  I felt like my friend in Australia posted this just for me.  I know she heeded her heart and her heart touched mine.  

I hit bottom again.  The nice thing about landing here at bottom I know the territory well.  I know that I need to exercise, study my scriptures, pray, plan something creative, sleep, and stop playing mindless computer games to get myself back on track.  Why do I know this works?  Because I keep needing to do it and it works. I thought that once I integrated that these backslides would stop.  Deep sadness to realize that I couldn't switch to get out of the hole I am in.  Then, I remind myself that the reason I ended up in counseling in the first place was switching wasn't working any more.  I felt sad and overwhelmingly depressed in every personality.  I had switched so much I was loosing myself in the shuffle.  KavinCoach threw a life line to a drowning woman, me.  What he offered was different than what I wanted but it is better than I ever dreamed possible.  But integration doesn't keep me on the 'happy trail' all the time.  I still have ups and downs, frustrations and triumphs.  Now I know who's doing the doing.  I also figure out more and more of why I react the way I do.

I also had another story tossed my way that happens to be a favorite:

A man was sleeping one night in his cabin when suddenly his room
filled with light, and God appeared.

The Lord told the man he had work for him to do, and showed him a
large rock in front of his cabin.

The Lord explained that the man was to push against the rock with
all his might...

So, this the man did, day after day. For many years he toiled from
sunup to sundown, his shoulders set squarely against the cold,
massive surface of the unmoving rock, pushing with all his might!

Each night the man returned to his cabin sore and worn out, feeling
that his whole day had been spent in vain.

Since the man was showing discouragement, the Adversary (Satan)
decided to enter the picture by placing thoughts into the man's weary
mind. (He will do it every time!)

"You have been pushing against that rock for a long time and it hasn't
moved." Thus, he gave the man the impression that the task was
impossible and that he was a failure.

These thoughts discouraged and disheartened the man.

Satan said, "Why kill yourself over this? Just put in your time, giving
just the minimum effort, and that will be good enough."

That's what the weary man planned to do, but decided to make it a
matter of prayer and to take his troubled thoughts to the Lord.

"Lord," he said, "I have labored long and hard in Your Service, putting
all my strength to do that which you have asked.

Yet, after all this time, I have not even budged that rock by half a
millimeter. What is wrong? Why am I failing?"

The Lord responded compassionately, "My friend, when I asked you
to serve Me and you accepted, I told you that your task was to push
against the rock with all of your strength, which you have done.

Never once did I mention to you that I expected you to move it.
Your task was to push.

And now you come to Me with your strength spent, thinking that you
have failed. But, is that really so? Look at yourself.

Your arms are strong and muscled, your back shiny and brown;
your hands are callused from constant pressure, your legs have become
massive and hard. Through opposition you have grown much, and your
abilities now surpass that which you used to have. True, you haven't
moved the rock.

But your calling was to be obedient and to push and to exercise your
faith and trust in My wisdom.

That you have done. Now I, my friend, will move the rock.."

At times, when we hear a word from God, we tend to use our own
intellect to decipher what He wants, when actually what God wants
is just simple obedience and faith in Him.

By all means, exercise the faith that moves mountains, but know that
it is still God Who moves the mountains.

When everything seems to go wrong.................................Just P.U.S.H.

When the job gets you down...............................................Just P.U.S.H.

When people don't do as you think they should.................Just P.U.S.H.

When your money is "gone" and the bills are due..............Just P.U.S.H.

When people just don't understand you..............................Just P.U.S.H.

P = Pray
U = Until
S = Something
H = Happens

I checked several sources and so far author is unknown but the inspiration source is.  Have a beautiful day.