Wednesday, April 11, 2012

Truth becomes a part of me

When truth is nothing but the truth, it's unnatural, it's an abstraction that resembles nothing in the real world. In nature there are always so many other irrelevant things mixed up with the essential truth.  Aldous Huxley

I pondered this quote for awhile.  I thought about the glass blowing I watched at the Renaissance Fair.  Silica is used to make the clear glass.  Silica looks like sand.  Sand has silica in it but there is a lot of other stuff.  There are few absolute truths.  Gravity is present around the globe yet bumblebees and jets can fly.  What is truth to one person is not so true for someone else.  Perspective can alter how the truth is viewed.  Yet, most people search for truth.  Others lie no matter what.  It is like truth has not bearing on their reality.  I lived most of my life as a multiple.  Each part of me saw her own truth.  But they were all me with different flavors and styles.  The truth that hit me hard was that I functioned in fractured pieces.  My view of the world and myself altered again when I integrated.  One of the truths I learned was that I was abused as a child.  This truth was denied at first by my parents.  But I stood firm and again stated that these events happened.  I continue to define myself by my understanding.  The more times I recognize and defend my truth the stronger I feel.  I no longer accept the lie that I misunderstood their intention.  They didn't mean too.  Excuse me, they looked around first to make sure we were alone first.  That is intentional.  Am I still lied to?  Absolutely, now I recognize the lies because I know my own story.  I know where I have been and what happened to me.  Their lies now sadden me but no longer make me question the validity of what I know.  I don't like what I see of my past.  Forgetting it for years had some advantages.  I have learned to sift out my truth from all the dust thrown at me.  Trying to explain to someone else the web of lies I was raised in is difficult at best and impossible at the worse.  But I no longer need to convince any one else.  I know what happened for myself.  I gather and glean my truth from amongst all the particles and pieces that hold no relevance.  I am learning that I can refine my truth.  I can accept that others view things differently.  But some one else no longer defines who I am.  I do that.  It is something beautiful to know that I found truth and it is not an unnatural abstraction but a component of myself.


Heating and Shaping

Silica Defined


mulderfan said...

Reminds me of a quote from my favourite version of the Bible, King Jame's Edition:
"And ye shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you free."~John 8:32

(Still the greatest book ever written!)

Love P/M

Ellen said...

I also struggle with figuring out the truth, and my family makes me feel completely crazy. I think that's how abuse works - it's covered up in a fog of lies.

Love the image of pieces to a beautiful glass jug...