Saturday, April 13, 2013

Body guard?

I have a body guard?

http://kara-throughthelookingglass.blogspot.com/2013/04/name-that-feeling-amygdala-hijack.html

This is one of the best short versions I have read about the "amygdala-hijack."  Before counseling I had no name for this reaction.  It happened so fast that I thought it was another switch until I had the very rude awakening that it happened more often after integration.  Before integration, I had one personality that handled all high stress situations...Marie.  The power of Marie is she felt nothing......no emotion....no amygdala hijack.  The weakness of Marie is she felt nothing....no love, no fear, no regret.....  When this new 'thing' seemed to attack me an all rational thought I viewed it as an enemy.  Something to fear.  Something to destroy. Fortunately, KavinCoach saw this differently.  Fortunately, I reconnected to this powerful ally.  If you read or view some videos they will tell you the 'evil' of this Fight or Flight kick in the pants that have you behaving in ways that if you logically thought it through you would never do.  I recognize now that KavinCoach took the time to let me feel it then slow down my reaction so I would feel the Amygdala kick in, then think through the best response.  At the time of learning to use it, this was not fun.  I did NOT enjoy the process of learning to recognize and respond to this illogical 'splat-boom-run' type of emotional explosion.  I like what Kara points out....the Amygdala prepares you to fight a tiger.  No, I would not be faced with a physical tiger, however, there are some emotional tigers that I needed to regain that emotional response that protected myself from being savaged.  KavinCoach never encouraged me to let the amygdala control my life....more like a super awesome high alert early warning system that I was taught to ignore.  I had to ignore to survive.  I had to ignore to be abused.  I had to ignore to live in my insane childhood....if I fought or ran as a child my life became much worse very quickly.  Now, I am in a safer place.  My amygdala hijack reaction tells me when danger is present.  I like how Kara included the information that the amygdala is rarely wrong in the assessment of a threat.  Now when I suddenly feel a strong emotional reaction I look for the danger.  What is my emotional brain reacting to the my logical brain doesn't recognize as a danger?  My amygdala knew before I did that my nasty boss was dangerous.  I thought I was being illogical to believe this mild speaking man could possibly be a snake in the grass.  Unfortunately, I learned the man really was a snake in the grass, my logical brain didn't recognize the very real danger.  I survived and had many opportunities to learn more about how this works.  Many 'gurus' preach at ignoring this 'emotional' reaction and think only logically as to the best answer.  I mastered this by splitting to Marie.... b a d  i d e a....people forget that the emotion is where compassion, kindness, love reside.  Using pure logic dehumanizes the thought process and why businesses and many people behave in cold heartless ways.  KavinCoach spent many, many hours putting emotion back into my life.  He also taught me to stop the hijacking, he encouraged the early warning then to slow my reaction so I have time to think before I act.  This process is usually accomplished during the teen years.  The volatile teen years is when most people learn to feel strongly about a situation then learn a healthy way to react.  I didn't do this.  I didn't rebel.  I didn't get all emotional.  I didn't learn to use this early warning system as a body guard to protect myself from predators.  I felt jealous of Spiderman's spidy sense that kicked in before he could see the danger....the amygdala is our spidy sense.  It recognizes a 'tiger' before I do.  Unfortunately, the amygdala cuts all choices to fight or flight...other choices can be made available if I listen to the amygdala and look for the danger.  Last week it kicked in and took over shutting down everything else but my need to pay attention to a danger that was coming up.  MyCounselor encouraged me to go with the emotion and find out where it took me.  I missed two days of work but now I have a plan on how to react to a potentially dangerous situation.  Few people would see the danger but few people experienced what I have experienced.  Yup, I have a body guard if I learn to team up with the amygdala and use it how it was meant to be used keeping me out of danger or prepared to fight for my boundaries. 



Interested in other articles? Searching amygdala hijack gives a fairly large lists of articles...some healthy, some not so much. 
Definition: http://www.wisegeek.com/what-is-amygdala-hijack.htm
http://www.psychologytoday.com/files/attachments/51483/handling-the-hijack.pdf


5 comments:

jessie said...

I enjoyed your contribution to the discussion Ruth!

My teenage years are when my world exploded (my parents divorced and my whole family seemed to go crazy at once-I'm pretty sure they were already on that road, but this expedited it.) I never had the opportunities to work on things I should've learned as a teenage, as I was too busy keeping myself alive.

Ruth said...

Survival mode does not leave much time for learning. Thanks Jessie for sharing your experience.

Kara said...

Thank you for the commendation Ruth. Reading your experience on this is really interesting. I also used to let the "logical" reasoning talk me out of my "alarm" feelings. I also never rebelled as a teenager. I like how your coach taught you to harness the power of the Amygdala Hijack and turn it into an asset. That's how I am going to look at it from now on: as a body guard looking out for me. What we thought it was a weakness, we can now turn into a strength. :)

Laurel Hawkes said...

Had to squash those nasty, inconvenient outburst because they were evil. Finally learned that for the lie it is. It is in those emotions I feel like I'm finally living. I love the idea of learning to embrace them and learn to be in control, using them to enhance my life rather than flatten me. Go you!

Calibans Sister said...

I used to try to push my spidey-sense away, thinking I was being irrational and paranoid. Now I KNOW that spidey-sense is almost always on to something. They should name a part of the brain for it. Maybe right next to the amygdala, which gives "danger" alerts, a tiny spider shaped organ that helps you catch the fly that's moved onto your web. Maybe this is another way to talk about intuition or meta-perception. We really do learn early to know what our abusers are doing, through tones of voice, facial expressions. Privileging that perception, well, it's long past time that we all did that. I like your spin on Kara's Amygdala Hijack.