Never Too late

"It's never too late to become the
person you might have been."
- George Elliot

Click Here For Success Tip # 012


My sister posted a link to a writers blog. http://theprojectbyjudy.wordpress.com/2013/04/19/writing-opens-doors-unexpectedly/ In the blog, they are discussing what how their characters in a book may behave and some cause and effects.  I used to believe that authors had full control over their characters until my sister told me about her books that she writes.  In essence, she needs to get to know the characters she writes.  In the process, authors encounter difficult characters.  (I know 'Jack' is a real challenge.)  
 http://writersinthestorm.wordpress.com/2013/04/17/why-we-and-our-characters-fall-in-love-part-2/
Judy posted a link to a list of behavaiors of a person might have if raised by an insecure, unavailable care giver.  I was startled by how many I matched.  Most of them, I am still trying to over come.  Then, I got past this humongous list (not really that big but when I kept coming up with 'yup, I do that', it takes on added size.) A much smaller list loitered down at the bottom ignored by me since the first list had all my attention.  

What kind of “repair messages” help build a bridge to secure attachment for our avoidant style character?
Words or actions that say: 

• You belong here
• I’m glad you’re alive
• What you need is important to me
• I’m glad you are you
• I celebrate your existence
• You can feel all of your feelings
• You can feel your body
• It is safe to be vulnerable and reach out

A soft gaze, or “kind eyes,” goes a long way with this style to convey many of the sayings above. Show this behavior across the dining table or at a coffee house. You can show how your character changes and feels after receiving these repair messages.

These are messages I want to make part of my life.  Thanks Judy for sharing the link.