Ray Bradbury
I was on a hunt for a particular quote and this one came up under the search. I think that was my biggest shock after integration. I still go crash-boom-splat. Takes me a few days to even figure out what blew me up. I was suspecting what was wrong and my sister's blog confirmed it. http://theprojectbyjudy.wordpress.com/2013/04/02/short-post/
Her post may seem a bit cryptic but as soon as I read "I see the game being played. Same old, some old. I know it doesn’t end well. Everyone wants to play like everything is all right…" I knew what splatted. I know when it splatted and I am furious with myself for dropping back into the role of taking care of things and doing what I am asked even what it is leaving me raging inside. I realized that I don't think I would mind so much saying that there were good things in my past if they didn't use it to say, "See there was nothing wrong, it is just you exaggerating, again." I do have good memories from my childhood. One of the nicest gifts was finding bits and pieces to treasure. I wrote the poem in my book. Unfortunately, others that I know take these few bits and pieces as evidence that nothing bad happened. I am feeling pressured and backed into a corner. I know that others view my reaction as ridiculous and trivial. Not sure what I am going to do. I am sure why am feeling so completely out of sorts.
Treasured pieces
Forgotten past
Lost in the recesses of a suppressed mind.
The facade cracks and the filth of my past oozes into my consciousness.
In this filthy river are bits and pieces of treasured moments.
Collect them
Polish them
Store them where they are safe.
Bring them out and remember.
Life can be good.
Moments can be precious.
Savor the good that exists.
I can not change my past.
I can decide my future.
Do I spread the ooze or
Create moments to be treasured?
Only I decide.
3 comments:
I think just realizing there IS a game being played is a huge break through. It puts you one step closer to heading for the stands as a spectator. From there you get to watch for a while and see the positions each person CHOOSES to play.
Of course the next step is even better...refusing to play and walking away for good!
We need to talk.
Thanks for the talk Judy.
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