http://www.ptsd.va.gov/professional/pages/ptsd-overview.asp
Raising awareness for those that have PTSD and encouragement for answers is one of my goals to this blog. One of the post on facebook was a list of things to say and not say to a Vet. I would like to modify it a little to what not say to a Child abuse survivor:
1) How bad was the abuse?
2) You know, bad things happen to all kids. I don't have PTSD and bad things happened to me.
3) Saying you know about it when you don't.
4) Don't say, "I'm glad you are ok now" nor "You are lucky it was just emotional abuse."
5) Why don't you just get over it?
Do say:
I know how you feel, I've been through the same experience. (if you really have had similar experiences.)
Sharing experiences with each other often decreases the feeling of isolation when you are able to connect with someone else that understands. Sharing and caring and reassuring are all valuable to an abuse survivor.
I deeply respect every soldier. I know that I don't look like I fit the PTSD criteria. I worked hard at dumping my victim look. PTSD is still not understood and sometimes demonized in movies or TV shows. Mostly PTSD is about a system wide response to a lot of pain one way or another.
Original from Battle Buddy http://www.usabattlebuddies.org/
PS Some comments may be triggering for some people.
6 comments:
I do not mean to offend anyone, but I am extremely frustrated trying to find information on PTSD that is not military related. It is extremely important that all who suffer from it have contact and support from others who have had similar experiences. I am a 25 year woman who has suffered PTSD since I was beaten and raped at 19. My life has completely transformed due to the overwhelming roller coaster ride of emotions (symptoms) after developing PTSD: depression, fear, isolation, anxiety, nightmares, distrust , and the inability to function has made my life unrecognizable. I lost my scholarship to college during my second semester sophomore year and it was not because of a lack of effort. My freshman year I was on honor roll, but that soon changed in the fall semester of my sophomore year (when the rape occurred) At first I was so numb to what had happened me. I remember standing in the shower after leaving the hospital where I had woken up after the fact and then had the rape kit performed, I was asked what seemed like a million questions by doctors and police,---all while trying to process the fact I had just been assaulted and that fact I was surrounded with all the chaos from the all the people who were just trying to help me - very personal pictures were taken of my body for evidence, the painful pelvic exam, and finally medications prescribed to lower the chance of STDS and pregnancy. After spending one night (which was after I was attacked) I stayed at the hospital most of the following day before I was finally released. Immediately once I returned home to my dorm room I got into the shower. It plays so clearly in my mind as if was just yesterday....Standing in the shower I felt the water touch my body and continued to just stand while I began to touch/wash every bruise, tear, and bump of my sore body. I truly believe in that moment I was in a state of shock...how does anyone react after such an event? The disassociating and avoidance of what happened began to manifest in horrific nightmares...and that is where my journey began. Today I have been to therapy, rehabs, and now after all this time I am trying to finish my degree. It has taken me a long time to get to where I am today. But I don't know if I will ever feel normal again. Everyday tasks I still continue struggle with and the loneliness from the occasional isolation/depression I still feel. The girl I was once before was filled with life, she participated in school activities at her university, joined a sorority, had many friends, beautiful naive ideas about the world, and a drive to not only graduate college but succeed. ( My description of the person I was may sound conceded, but it was the truth). I miss my friends and the amount of time I've lost due to PTSD. However, I have/am working incredibly hard and I just want to be happy and start a new chapter of my life. I'm sorry for the depressing post I just felt compelled to share my story and let people know it is not easy road if are a sufferer of chronic PTSD. It is completely up to you whether or not you take my advice, but if you're suffering don't ignore the problem, understand that there will be rough days however, you are not alone. I found prayer to be very healing personally. (but to each their own)
I think it comes to me in dreams, although the nightmares are fewer and I no longer scare the cats or wake up my daughter with my screams.
It was only recently I even realized it was there, when a man much like my NF went after me via email, I reacted exactly as I had when the old man used to rage at me. I sat at my computer shaking, in a cold sweat, feeling nauseated and faint with tears running down my face. With the backing of my daughter and few friends, I calmly took the SOB "down" in a very public way then made sure I never encountered him again.
We all have different PTSD symptoms and different levels of tolerance for abuse so I try not to judge. For me, these days, my tolerance level is ZERO and if anyone crosses the line they get smacked in the face by my boundary which isn't really a line at all, it's a solid brick wall.
Anonymous, please don't apologize for sharing your story. IMO it is part of the healing process.
Although my trauma is very different from yours, finding people through these blogs that shared similar childhood trauma has contributed immensely to my recovery. Perhaps you've already done this but I believe connecting with other rape victims in a safe, therapeutic environment may be the only way to get the support and understanding you need.
I'm really glad to read that you have found the courage/strength to pursue your goals and wish you all the best life has to offer.
I am not offended Anon. I am glad you felt you can share here.
I agree mulderfan, boundaries make a huge difference. I learned that those that are respectful don't get smacked by my boundaries. They see them and don't try to push past them.
With the media now turning to blaming PTSD for so many horrific crimes, it's more important than ever to talk about it and make sure the truth is out there.
Horrific crimes happen because someone chooses evil.
You cannot legislate evil. It's already outlawed.
Blaming mental illness for criminal behavior is like blaming salt for high blood pressure. Studies have proven this is false, in many people. For some people, salt does cause HBP, but deciding everyone who eats salt will have HBP is silly. Deciding everyone with a mental illness will commit a crime is silly.
This last year is the first time I learned about CPTSD and though I've not been officially diagnosed, I meet almost every single criteria. The biggest help is recognizing the symptoms. Now that I recognize the symptoms, I'm better able to develop skills to cope with them. It's a huge help knowing I'm not alone.
Anon, you are not alone. Thank you for sharing your painful story. The only thing offensive about it was that it happened at all.
There's a beautiful site, "Gift From Within" started by Frank Ochberg in '93 for victims suffering from PTSD aside from military-related trauma. Frank has tremendous compassion for people who have been victimized and suffer from PTSD as a result. Please take a look; it's full of info/resources, art, discussions with other survivors etc.
Can't say enough for that site or Frank's efforts to assist victims of trauma. I was abducted from a shopping center parking lot shortly after I turned 20, beat, sexually assaulted and left for dead by the Perp. That was many years ago and the resources-never mind information-were not available and training for law enforcement in terms of how to deal with victims of these types of events was non-existant.
There absolutely *is* life after trauma.
TW
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