Comparisons rarely a good thing

"When life's problems seem
overwhelming, look around and see
what other people are coping with.
You may consider yourself fortunate."
- Ann Landers
Click Here For Success Tip # 078

Dr. Banks suggested that 1 in 4 are mentally ill....pick out 3 of your friends if they seem fairly 'normal' than you are it.  

Sometimes this can back fire in two different ways.  One way is that I discovered I was the worse case scenario.  KavinCoach had me read a book that listed abuse as this is bad...this is worse...and this is worse case scenario.  I kept matching worse case scenario.  I slowly realized I was the person that other people looked at and were thankful with their situation.  However, if I looked around, with in minutes, I could find someone worse off than me.  Unfortunately, for some they feel like their situation is minimized...their suffering isn't 'bad enough.'  They would say, "Well, my situation isn't as bad as yours so I don't__________." Fill in the blank as to what they didn't deserve to have help with.  Some how we get the impression that we have to be worse case scenario to get help.  True, when I would help people with computers I felt frustrated with people that refused to try.  I did try to teach people that the only stupid question was the one unasked.  Each person deserves the right to feel what they need to feel.  Someone being worse off, does not mean your pain is not legitimate. 

The other way that this back fires is when someone looks at me on my best day and says, "Well we haven't progressed as much as you."  Technically speaking I would be hard pressed to meet the criteria for DID, PTSD is only an occasional melt down that feels mild when I remember I would feel that way every day instead of once every few months.  Integration, learning new skills, emotionally growing up helped me catch up on the things I missed out on as a child.  Sometimes making comparisons we compare our worse day to someone else's best day.  Plus, each person has their own path.  My sister and I were raised in the same house in the same room but our five years difference in age, made huge differences.  I know that Ann Landers meant that there are plenty of people worse off.  One of the aspects to giving service that is so important is to recognize and feel compassion for those with different struggles than I have.  

One of the people I like to check in with is Nick Vujicic, he is upbeat, energetic, engaging with no arms no legs and no worries.  Spreading hope around the world.  http://www.nickvujicic.com/

Comparisons, in my opinion, do more harm then good.  I do believe in reaching out to others not because I am better off but because I feel better for reaching out to others.