Hollywood did it again

Hollywood decries putting down groups due to race, religion, or gender preference but has no problem ridiculing those that are over weight by their standard or mental illness.  These groups are fair game in the movies to turn them into victims or monsters.  A grade B or in my opinion D movie came out called "Split."  The main character is a multiple personality that terrorizes 3 teens.  REALLY.....I am sick and tired of Hollywood twisting the truth to their convenience and to line their pocket books.  I will gladly help them pack to move anywhere outside this country. Sending them clear off the planet seems reasonable.  (Not a death threat but tickets on the next space stuttle need to be handed out in Hollywood.)  Fortunately, there are websites that demystify the twisted truths.  The people over at Trauma and Dissociation gave a quiz on what really happens when a person splits into parts to survive. 
https://traumadissociation.wordpress.com/2017/01/31/split-movie-quiz-dissociative-idenity-disorder-fact-versus-fiction/

Yes, I did get a 100% on their dissociation quiz. I didn't check every page but what I read coincided fairly closely to what I experienced.  I lived with parts for over 40 years.  My kids figured out first that Mom was a bit complex on how I handled situations.  Took a lot of years of counseling to integrate and learn a new pattern of solving problems.  My aunt that worked in a mental hospital also recognized my behavior for what it was, a complex coping structure that consisted of 5 personalities that kept me functioning in an insane world.  I worked very hard to bring down the barriers within myself.  I also had people and jobs that cut me off from their association because I was the problem.  Here's the deal.  I was the same person they liked before they found out how I functioned.  For me, there were black out of time, loss memories and confusion.  Who kept moving my clothes to the back of the closet? And who's clothes were they in the front?  I knew that I could write something then later not recognize my own hand writing or what the note meant.  I felt stupid and scared and confused and I withdrew more and more.  Counseling was my last resort.  I was terrified, glitches, and behaviors were becoming more noticeable.  I was blessed with an amazing counselor that understood who and what I was.  He guided me through acceptance then taught me coping skills.  I was determined to bring myself together.  I was born together and I wanted Humpty Dumpty together again.  A daunting task that I would not brave alone or without prayers....lots of prayers.  

Need to Play

Rush rush rush...

Rush to talk
Rush to walk
Rush rush rush

Rush to school
Rush to learn
Rush rush rush

Rush to grow up
Rush to graduate
Rush rush rush

Rush to work
Rush to deadlines
Rush rush rush

Rush on the freeway
Rush on the way home
Rush rush rush



I work with Early Childhood Education program at our school.  Part of the lessons teaches high school students the importance of play for children.  As I work more on growing healthy, adults need to play too.

Link to article about children need to play:
http://www.educationaltoyfactory.com/why-is-it-important-for-children-to-play/

• playing helps children expand their understanding of themselves and others, their understanding of the physical world, and their ability to communicate with others
• recreation creates the basis for a great foundation in all areas of life
• play teaches the basics that every person needs to know for the real world, things such as:
  • You don’t always win
  • Good Sportsmanship
  • Take turns
  • Colors
  • Reading
  • Strategy
  • Math awareness
  • Cooperation
  • Memorization
  • Creativity
  • Self Confidence

I know that I needed to build self confidence, unleash my creativity, improve my memory, learn to cooperate,  yup, right up the line I benefit from play.  I am playing an online game.  Sudokus and crossword puzzles are part of my routine to healthier brain.  I decided to try Lumosity.  www.lumosity.com/  However, I have to set some boundaries.  I put time limits on how long I play.  I allow myself to make mistakes in the game or puzzle without condemning myself.  I am practicing cooperation on Happy Acres.  https://apps.facebook.com/happyacres/?fb_source=sidebar_bookmark
I'm having fun. I'm adding painting abstract and drawing to my activities.  I am learning to slow down the rush and enjoy events, people, activities and living. 

For Moms

Found on facebook....thanks for sharing.....simple reminder to Moms

To the mom hiding in her bathroom, needing peace for just one minute, as the tears roll down her cheeks..
To the mom who is so tired she feel likes she can't function anymore and would do anything to lay down and get the rest she needs...

To the mom sitting in her car, alone, stuffing food in her face because she doesn’t want anyone else to see or know she eats that stuff…
To the mom crying on the couch after she yelled at her kids for something little and is now feeling guilty and like she is unworthy…
To the mom that is trying desperately to put those old jeans on because all she really wants is to look in the mirror and feel good about herself…
To the mom that doesn’t want to leave the house because life is just too much to handle right now…
To the mom that is calling out for pizza again because dinner just didn’t happen the way she wanted it to…
To the mom that feels alone, whether in a room by herself or standing in a crowd...
You are enough.
You are important.
You are worthy.
This is a phase of life for us. This is a really really hard, challenging, crazy phase of life.
In the end it will all be worth it. But for now it’s hard. And it's hard for so many of us in many different ways. We don't always talk about it, but it's hard and it's not just you.
You are enough.
You are doing your best.
Those little eyes that look up at you - they think you are perfect. They think you are more than enough.
Those little hands that reach out to hold you - they think you are the strongest. They think you can conquer the world.
Those little mouths eating the food you gave them - they think that you are the best because their bellies are full.
Those little hearts that reach out to touch yours - they don’t want anything more. They just want you.
Because you are enough. You are more than enough, mama.
You. Are. Amazing.

By: Bethany Jacobs
Facebook.com/latchedattached

Another explanation

One of the challenges of sharing my experience with dissociation is how I experienced is different than how other people experience the feelings.  It is difficult to describe something that I barely understand myself.  I came across an article that attempts to explain dissociation disorders.  I read the link and found that some parts are very similar to what I feel but others are quite different.  Treatment used with me was a combination of techniques honed by my counselors 30 years of experience and a PhD.  I was still able to surprise him from time to time. 

https://wordpress.com/read/feeds/106212/posts/1311240248

Normal...sort of

Medical tests came back....I'm on the low end of normal for thyroid, my blood pressure is on the high end of normal, and I am really allergic to something not yet identified.  Problems come in 3s, 4s, 5s or any other number they want to.  But the doctor said that all my medical tests came back in the normal range.  However, due to the extreme allergy to something, I will be a card carrying EpiPen carrier.  I talked to my doctor and asked about the outrageous price hike on Epi Pens....apparently the price is back down and the company is sporting a bit of a black eye and loss of a great deal of respect.  Selfish people never see past their own needs to the big picture of sharing space on this planet. I do have several medications now to put my body back on the mend.  2016 was a rough year and I am still experiencing the fallout.  I did two good things, I brought my information from one doctor to update the records kept by my primary care doctor.  Plus, I checked in to find out if I need another specialist or did they have another option.  Yup, my doctor does allergy tests.  She also has a friend that deals with extreme allergies so had a little better understanding from a personal perspective.  Thankful to find an excellent primary care physician and his assistants. 

Slow Down

The first time I read this poem it was part of a hoax email.  But I love the poem.  I used Snopes to find out the true author.  Here's a link to David Weatherford:   
http://www.davidlweatherford.com/slowdance.html

SLOW DANCE 
Have you ever watched kids on a merry-go-round? 
Or listened to the rain slapping on the ground? 
Ever followed a butterfly's erratic flight? 
Or gazed at the sun into the fading night? 
You better slow down. 
Don't dance so fast. 
Time is short. 
The music won't last. 

Do you run through each day on the fly? 
When you ask, “How are you?” 
Do you hear the reply? 
When the day is done, do you lie in your bed, 
with the next hundred chores running through your head? 
You'd better slow down 
Don't dance so fast. 
Time is short 
The music won't last. 

Ever told your child, 
We'll do it tomorrow? 
And in your haste, 
Not see his sorrow? 
Ever lost touch, let a good friendship die 
Cause you never had time 
To call and say,'Hi' 
You'd better slow down. 
Don't dance so fast. 
Time is short. 
The music won't last.. 

When you run so fast to get somewhere, 
You miss half the fun of getting there. 
When you worry and hurry through your day, 
It is like an unopened gift.... 
Thrown away. 
Life is not a race. 
Do take it slower 
Hear the music 
Before the song is over.

Surviving takes up so much time that sometimes I forget about living.  This poem is a reminder that the butterflies, friends, kids at the park, slowing down is what living is all about.  Have a beautiful day.