Friday, December 28, 2018

Learn from Others

I discovered that I can learn from others and their challenges....

Sometimes there is less than friendly rivalry between those with PTSD from combat experiences and those that live with CPTSD from long term repeated trauma.  However, the thing is we can learn a lot from each other.  I am thankful for the article that encouraged me to try martial arts.  I blew it off as something for the military.  The Lord kindly nudged me and reminded me He sent an answer why not try it?  I did.  Karate with our city parks and recreation.  I was unprepared for being asked why I was taking the class.  I answered totally honestly that I had PTSD and it was recommended to try some form of martial arts.  I am now 4 years doing martial arts and love it.  I am a purple stripe in Chinese Kempo and signed up again for next year.  I learned from karate that I can control my body and I can do really hard stuff.  I also learned that in this environment this is no failure, only do it again.  Keep on doing it until I can.  Exploring and learning what works for me takes me to places I never been doing things I've never done before.  Karate, pour painting, photography, crocheting, and a bunch of other stuff.  My theory is if life is easy, I haven't tried anything new lately.

Thursday, December 27, 2018

Whew!!!!! Made it

I made it through Christmas now only 363 days before I do it again. 

Tuesday, December 18, 2018

Tis' the season

To feeling overwhelmed:  Be kind to myself cut the To Do list up into little pieces and throw away....right after I make this next Christmas present. 

First heard this read to me by my mother.  I saw the author on one page and now I can't find it again. 


See Mother, see mother laugh. Mother is happy.
Mother is happy about Christmas.
Mother has many plans. Mother has many plans for Christmas.
Mother is organized. Mother smiles all the time.
Funny, funny mother.

See Mother. See mother smile. Mother is happy.
The shopping is done. See the children watch TV. Watch children,
See the children change their minds.
See them ask Santa for different toys.
Look. Look. Mother is not smiling.
Funny, funny mother.

See mother. See mother sew.
Mother will make dresses.
Mother will make robes.
Mother will make shirts.
See mother put the zipper in wrong.
See mother sew the dress on the wrong side.
See mother cut the skirt to short.
See mother put the material away until January.
Look. Look, see mother take a tranqualizer.
Funny, funny mother.

See mother. See mother buy raisins and nuts.
See mother buy candied pineapple and powdered sugar.
See mother buy flour, and dates, and pecans, and brown sugar, and
Bananas, and spices and vanilla.
Look. Look. Mother is mixing everything together.
See the children press out cookies
See the flour on their elbows.
See the cookies burn. See the cakes fall.
See the children pull taffy. See mother pull her hair.
See mother clean the kitchen with the garden hose.
Funny, funny mother.

See mother. See mother wrap presents. See mother look for the end on
tape roll. See mother bite her finger nails.
See mother go. See mother go to the store 12 times in one hour.
Go mother go. See mother go faster. Run mother run.
See mother trim the tree. See mother have a party. See mother make pop
See mother wash the walls. See mother scrub the rug.
See mother tear up her organized plan.
See mother forget a gift for Uncle Harry. See mother get hives.
Go mother go. See the far away look in mother's eyes.
Mother has become disorganized. Mother has become dis-oriented.
Funny, funny mother.

It is finally Christmas morning. See the happy family.
See father smile. Father is happy. Smile father smile.
Father loves the fruit cake. Father loves the Christmas pudding.
Father loves all his new neckties.
Look. Look. See the happy children. See the children's toys.
Santa was very good to the children. The children will remember this

See mother. Mother is slumped in a chair. Mother is crying
Mother does not look well. Mother has ugly dark circles under her blood
shot eyes.

Everyone helps mother to her bed.
See mother sleep quietly under her heavy medication.
See mother smile.
Funny, funny mother.

Tuesday, December 11, 2018

Santa Secret

I found this on idea who posted it originally. 

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The first version like this that I heard was a Grandma being asked by her grandson about Santa Claus. Her grandson asked if Santa was real this was her answer:

"Yes, Santa is real and you are joining his team.  Think of a child in your class that could really use something."  After a moment he answered that one of the children in class didn't go outside for recess because he had no coat for cold weather.  Grandma then took the boy to the store and had him pick out a coat.  They wrapped it carefully.  Then left it on the door step and ran and hid behind some plants.  The child opened the door and found the gift.  Out of breath from running to hide Grandma whispered, "You are now on the Santa team."

What I learned that many are too proud to accept a hand out but a gift from Santa is some how acceptable.  I discovered that hiding behind Santa allows a wealth of good to happen without people feeling guilty.  I've also seen it go terribly wrong.  I gave a Santa gift to some children and their mother was terribly offended and got rid of that junk.  I felt sad that I hurt instead of helped someone.  Santa is a sticky subject and more than a few are traumatized by he old elf.  Bottom line is Santa is what you make of him.  We didn't teach our kids the Santa until much later.  Our oldest son actually through his one and only screaming kick your feet on the floor tantrum when we saw him.  Some of my other children were not a great fan either.  I watched my mother stay up endless ours creating the Santa illusion then feeling resentful that we didn't thank her adequately.  My belief is Santa is way to help others, sometimes.  I enjoy giving anonymously and Santa helps me do that.