Wednesday, July 7, 2021

Great description of Boundaries

 One of the first things I learned I needed during counseling was boundaries.  In fact, boundaries is what finally brought me into counseling in the first place.  DH (darling husband) and I were taking a marriage class offered by our church.  They spent the whole evening talking about the importance of boundaries.  When I got home, I was less than polite asking DH what they were.  He knew.  After his explanation I felt frustrated and confused that I didn't know what they were or how to use them.  That is when I decided I needed professional counseling.  Hardest and best decision ever.  

Today, online I found a great description of boundaries.

I went to her webpage to learn a bit about her.  She is a life coach and has a blog.  She also archived it so you can easily get to the other posts. I recommend you checking out her pages if you like this post.

Monday, July 5, 2021

Google is suspicious

I've been off this page for so long that Google is suspicious of my presents.  I'm working at getting back to my blogs on a more regular basis.  

Hi, How are you?

 I hunkered down into survival mode.  My interactions with groups on Facebook for PTSD and CPTSD is about the extent of what I've done for awhile.  I am slowly getting my feet back under me.  We traveled and visited family far away.  We saw beautiful country and visited the Great lakes.  Yes, I am impressed with the amazing country I live in.  I'm sad when I still see so much fear and distrust.  I am thrilled when I see smiling faces that welcome all who come.  

At the end of the day, the power of hope is the belief that the sun will rise in the morning.  

Friday, March 5, 2021

 I like this idea I found on Facebook

Of course, my take on what they are calling the "new normal" is that insanity is not new....what is new is trying to convince everyone to embrace insanity as normal.  

I am thankful to live over 60 years and be able to say I have seen a lot of stuff come down, this past year may be one of the strangest for how long I've stayed home, living like I'm under house arrest, but not the worst.  I am thankful for friends and family that call, video chat and share encouragement and love in so many different ways.  I pray for those that are sick, lost their jobs, experienced financial hardship, or lost their loved ones.  It is much like the book opening in the Tale of Two Cities:

  • “It was the best of times, it was the worst of times, it was the age of wisdom, it was the age of foolishness, it was the epoch of belief, it was the epoch of incredulity, it was the season of light, it was the season of darkness, it was the spring of hope, it was the winter of despair.” ― Charles Dickens , A Tale of Two Cities

Charles Dickens could have written about these times.  

My recommendation is find a bit of joy and spread it.  On Facebook, I find beautiful pictures and share them.  Online teaching, I encourage, leave funny GIFs for daily check ins, and try to help others see that the future is amazing.  

Wednesday, February 24, 2021

Fire your mean boss

 I can't tell you how shocked I was when my counselor told me to fire my mean boss.  I was also confused.  How could I fire my boss?  At the time, I did have a mean boss at work.  I expressed my confusion.  

He carried on, "You know the boss that expect you to be early to work and stay late.  The boss that expects you do to do more than any one else.  The boss that makes you go in on weekends and other times when you could be home...." Took a while for me to finally realize the mean boss he referred to was me.  I was my own mean boss.  I was my harshest critic and put myself down more than anyone else.  

I am not alone with this challenge of needing to fire my mean boss.  Dove sponsored a project that they shared in this video.  

(545) Dove Real Beauty Sketches | You’re more beautiful than you think (6mins) - YouTube

I agree with their conclusion you are more beautiful than you think.  I also believe most of us are doing better than we think we are.  You are better than what that inner critic keeps telling you.  Learning to fire my mean boss and become my own best friend, which is much harder than I thought it would be.  

Sunday, November 29, 2020

The Last Time

 One of the things I wished with all my heart is that when our kids were growing up;  I worried less and enjoyed more the moments, the heart beats, the days challenges of busy years.  I am working on it now.  

This is the holiday season, a time of challenges, triggers, tough memories, an occasional flashbacks that make this particularly difficult.  I posted on here before survival guides for the holidays.

This time I am sharing a poem my daughter shared as she enjoyed the Zoo lights with her sons.  She is right, I am wishing we could have one more time together, one more hug, one more story time,   one more of so many things.  Mostly I wish each of them joy in the celebration of Christ.  

The Last Time (author unknown)
From the moment you hold your baby in your arms you will never be the same
You might long for the person you were before when you had freedom and time and nothing in particular to worry about
You will know tiredness like you never knew it before days will run into days that are exactly the same full of feedings and burping
Nappy changes and crying
Whining and fighting
Naps or a lack of naps
It might seem like a never-ending cycle
But don't forget...
There is a last time for everything
There will come a time when you will feed your baby for the very last time
They will fall asleep on you after a long day and it will be the last time you ever hold your sleeping child
One day you will carry them on your hip then set them down and never pick them up that way again
You will scrub their hair in the bath for one last time and from that day on they will want to bathe alone
They will hold your hand to cross the road
Then will never reach for it again
They will creep into your room at midnight for cuddles and it will be the last night you ever wake to this
One afternoon you will sing "the wheels on the bus" and do all the actions then never sing them that song again
They will kiss you goodbye at the school gate
The next day they will ask to walk to the gate alone
You will read a final bedtime story and wipe your last dirty face
They will run to you with arms raised for the very last time.
The thing is, you won't even know it's the last time until there are no more times. And even then, it will take you a while to realize.

So while you are living in these times, remember there are only so many of them and when they are gone, you will yearn for just one more day

My children made these in 1st grade, now their children are in first grade. Yes, I still have them. 

Sunday, November 22, 2020

Healing Power of Gratitude

 Gratitude is a powerful thing. I learned of its power when I was sick in bed for about 3 years. I learned to be thankful for things like getting dressed. Gratitude to children that pitched in and helped. Husband that knew how to vacuum. Savior to reassure me I'm not worthless. Prayer to keep me going when things seemed impossible. Grateful that my faith taught me that Jesus takes impossible and turns it into I'm possible.

Too many people blow off simple things like gratitude when looking for healing solutions. There are scientist that actually study the impact of gratitude on the brain. I read a few articles that show that an attitude of gratitude does awesome and cool things to our brains. Scriptures also back this up with many references to give thanks. I know I went through a tough time when I felt like it took all week to find something to be grateful for. Gratitude is a learned skill.

Our church group decided to start keeping a gratitude journal for an entire year. They gave us notebooks to write in, cute pages for every month and encouragement to write daily. I was very skeptical about one more thing to do in my life. However, I was willing to try. After a few months I had to stop not because I didn't feel gratitude but I realized if I wrote down every blessing, way I was helped, everything I was thankful for, all I would do was write all day long. I finally saw a flood of things to be thankful for. I started creating gratitude chains.....Thankful for a car to drive led to gratitude for roads to drive on, gas, money to afford the car and gas, thankful for amazing place to travel to and see...One blessing connects to several others. It felt amazing. Now, gratitude is one of my go to healing tools when I start to feel overwhelmed or like life is picking on me. I am thankful for the internet where I can share my thoughts on a blog and I am thankful for readers willing to spend a few minutes of their day to read my words. I am thankful for those that leave kind comments and help me feel connected. Gratitude is a powerful healing tool.