Motivated to clean

I read somewhere a meme that said, "I don't have clutter, I have projects waiting to happen."  I looked around my disaster sewing room and realized they were right.  I did have projects waiting to happen all over the place.  However, the disorganization hides half of what I need to do the projects.  For the first time I am approaching cleaning this area with the idea of how can I organize my space so I can paint, draw, pour paintings, jewelry making, sewing and other projects just waiting to for me to switch around my priorities. 

I built a book shelf that I already owned to accommodate my research into PTSD/CPTSD and the workings of the human mind and spirit.  I filled the shelves quickly.  I have so many on my to be read list and few that need to be reread.  I also found things I thought I lost...nope they were right there in plain sight unlabeled as to what they were.  This freed up space for things that needed to be put together. 

Now I am grouping my resources into areas.  Sewing, crocheting, painting, woodworking all jumbled together are being sorted out to their own space.  Wow, I have a lot of projects waiting.  I am doing projects too.  I have a crocheted blanket that went from lap size to almost a twin size blanket.  Completed pour paintings are sitting in front of books on my book cases.  I made progress.  Probably the most progress I've made in years.  I changed my motivation for cleaning.  Instead of cleaning to take care of this mess and throw away this trash, I am now arranging the things I gathered for various projects in a way that I can accomplish what I planned to do.  I know where my painting stuff is.  I have my colored pens boxed together and accessible.  Hard to do a project if part of the resources I need are buried under another project. 

Considering new possibilities

One of the blogs in my email is about building families.  Today's email had suggestions on family summer activities.  I thought about it that perhaps living more intentionally I could benefit from something similar.  Take each day of the week to do something from an area of enjoyment.  The list below is just the starting point.  No need to choose these particular ideas but the idea of living intentionally.  Many times we get in the habit drifting through each day.  One day starts to blend into another.  Why not change it up a little?  Maybe  try a new recipe or explore the library.  These ideas are great for kids.  I think adults can benefit too.  When was the last time you intentionally changed up your day by scheduling time to try something new. 

DAILY ADVENTURES:

One of our readers sent in a great idea for having specified days for different things. We used her idea to group our long “bucket list” of brainstormed activities into categories for fun family activities each day after the kids finished their “must-do’s”:

• Make-it Monday - Arts, building and creating
• Take a trip Tuesday - short day trips visits the sights in the area
• Wet Wednesday- summer means water - enjoy it. 
• Thinking Thursday - learn something new, look up a how to, find answers to a question
• Friend Friday - spend time with friends

https://poweroffamilies.com/do-it-yourself-summer-camp/

I'm all shook up

This past week I am working at dodging, weaving, and generally keeping my head above water emotionally and physically.  Turmoil hit our high school like a tidal wave.  I'm churned up by the propaganda of No Guns = Happiness.....I shake my head and stay quiet.  When pressured to agree, I look at them calmly and tell them DH is a Ranger Master and NRA instructor.  When I went back to college over 20 years ago one of the students gave a speech about living in England.  NO GUNS allowed.  His friend was murdered by a gun toting villain that sauntered away because even the bobbies didn't have guns, only the criminals had the guns.  I saw for myself that evil chooses what ever is handy to destroy others, cars, vans, guns, knives, rocks, fertilizer, pipe bombs, match heads, fists, the lists goes on and on.  Stopping law abiding citizens from owning guns gives the criminals and terrorist the advantage, nobody to stop them. 

Teacher contracts came out and the promised pay raises didn't appear, again.  Last fall during elections the people of our state voted to make money available for better wages for teachers.  No money appeared.  Tension is high...demonstrations....all peaceful...and now a walk out.  I shake my head and stay quiet.  People are expecting a walk out will change the minds of government officials that looked at school funding as easy grab since there is no accountability of where the money goes.  What happened to all the money the voter approved... I believe they are asking the wrong people the wrong questions.  Instead of asking why don't we get a raise to the governor, I believe a better question is asking the Superintendent of Schools, "Where is the money voted for the pay increases?"  Who Stole that MONEY?  Greed, laziness, inertia, and lack of caring about enough funding for education and then use the money wisely.  The system is broke and demonstrating won't fix it.  I plan to enjoy my day offs while the schools are closed.  I didn't get a pay raise and I will be surprised if I ever do.  They keep playing shell games with the dollar figures.  I feel like no matter what teachers do, we lose and the kids lose more. 

Adjustments and more adjustments....home life changed when needs of aging parents needed addressing.  I know the need exists but not sure how to keep my head above water.  I can only push so long then my body pushes back - hard.  Fortunately, the good news is the lump on my thyroid stayed the same size.  The theory goes that no growth usually means no cancer...so wait a year and check again.  Same with the brain tumor.  Check and wait, wait and check again.  Between gun law activist, teacher unrest, family dynamics changes, and health issues I feel like I am playing Russian Roulette, I'm amazed that I am functioning at all. Swirling clouds of unrest that feel like a perfect storm.  Bring it on. 

Wrapping up

Last month of school is testing and wrapping up final big projects.  We are told not to teach to the test but the students and teachers are penalized for not doing well on the test created by the State.  People, this type of high stakes testing is useless....truly.  The only ones getting an advantage out of it are the ones creating the test and charging the schools.  The standardized test actually make more money if students fail so it is in the test makers best interest to write the test in such away that more students fail.  Then the students are labeled as failures and kept from scholarships, university and other opportunities because they were set up to fail on the high stakes test.  I struggle this time of year seeing how ridiculous it is yet knowing the students need to do well on the tests.  I also watch students struggling through the exams knowing then won't do well.  Thanks to "no student left behind" other options are no long open for students that need a different path.  I get frustrated and discouraged watching the ridiculous things students and teachers are expected to do to appease people that could care less then complain that schools are failing.  It is a vicious downward circle that every once in a while we fight back and win.  A student catches the vision that their dream is possible.  One year we had a couple of students show me their business license.  Two high school young ladies starting their own business is my goal not passing some manipulated test. 


Shout out to my friends in Canada that were kind enough to send us some of their cold weather.  I am not ready for triple digit weather.  Thanks, much cooler tonight.  :)

Sharing Laughter

Fun Pics and Stuff

Pecans in the cemetery...

On the outskirts of a small town, there was a big old pecan tree just inside the cemetery fence. One day, two boys filled up a bucketful of nuts and sat down by the tree, out of sight, and began dividing the nuts.

'One for you, one for me, one for you, one for me,' said one boy. Several dropped and rolled down toward the fence.

Another boy came riding along the road on his bicycle. As he passed, he thought he heard voices from inside the cemetery, so he slowed down to investigate. Sure enough, he heard, 'One for you, one for me, one for you, one for me...'

He just knew what it was. He jumped back on his bike and rode off. Just around the bend he met an old man with a cane, hobbling along.

'Come here quick,' said the boy, 'you won't believe what I heard! Satan and the Lord are down at the cemetery dividing up the souls!'

The man said, 'Beat it kid, can't you see it's hard for me to walk. When the boy insisted though, the man hobbled slowly to the cemetery.

Standing by the fence they heard, 'One for you, one for me. One for you, one for me.'

The old man whispered, 'Boy, you've been tellin' me the truth. Let's see if we can see the Lord!

Shaking with fear, they peered through the fence, yet were still unable to see anything. The old man and the boy gripped the wrought iron bars of the fence tighter and tighter as they tried to get a glimpse of the Lord.

At last they heard, 'One for you, one for me. That's all. Now let's go get those nuts by the fence and we'll be done...'

They say the old man had the lead for a good half-mile before the kid on the bike passed him.

Have a wonderful and blessed Sunday!

Process vs Product

One of the interesting concepts I explored while working with early childhood teachers is the difference between process and product art.  https://www.naeyc.org/resources/pubs/tyc/feb2014/process-art-experiences 

Now I am learning pour painting which produce a product over which other than choosing colors I have very little control.  I mix the paints with glue, combine them into a cup then using different methods pour them onto the canvas.  I am at the beginning experimentation stage.  I listened to multiple videos before starting but then it was applying the basics to the materials I had.  The thing that fascinates me is I am limited in control, I let go of expectations and enjoy the process of mixing and pouring.  Often the final results are not visible until the next day when it is totally dried. 

The interesting thing to me is the concept that one of the struggles of counseling and treatment of PTSD is they treat people like a product to produce particular results.  People will then become.... __________, ________________, _______________.  People are treated like products to be pushed shoved and manipulated into a particular behavior. 

Fortunately for me, my first counselor taught me the process of living.  He first helped me to see the damage caused by how I was raised.  Tough going for anyone that experienced the ugly unveiling of lies distorting belief system from childhood.  He then cautioned me that my past did not define who I am now.  I looked at him utterly and completely confused.  I was a product of my past, or so I believed.  He reassured me that all that happened in my past was part of the process of my individual journey.  I have the opportunity every morning to get up and decide will my past be my present or will I take the lessons I learned a create something totally different than what I was told would happen.

People aren't products.  Treating them like you pour in one cup of this and two cups of that and a pinch of the other will create the same thing withe everyone doesn't make sense.  Yet, many of the 'treatments' for PTSD and CPTSD try to do exactly that.  As long as I look for a secret recipe to change my life, I will be disappointed.  However, when I learn the process of traveling through life, my adventure and explore avenues and try new things I am growing and thriving.  My difficult stumbling blocks from my past can be re-purposed into stepping stones. Occasionally, I will look back at a bridge I crossed, give a little smile and burn that bridge, never to go back to that place again.  I am signing up for the process of living instead of being a product produced by my past.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y5Nvkxwbp1Y

   Process art with photography.....painting with light.