Sadness is upon me

 I read it on FB but unable to find it somewhere else.  Sadly, trying to link FB to a post is like trying to tape water to the wall.  Not happening.  

I have awesome friends on FB that share a variety of perspectives.  Today's gem explained that in some languages that an emotion is described as being on you, or you have it. In English we say, "I am sad."  However, the Irish say, "The sadness is upon me."  What I appreciate about this distinction is that emotions are temporary, and I have them for a while then they leave with another emotion starts to hang out with me.  I like the concept that emotions are part of my life, but my emotions are not who I am.  

The dragonfly is upon the rose bush....as soon as it warms up it will take off and fly.  

Packed a lot in This Year

 

Last year about this time is when I last posted.  I seriously considered quitting all my blogs and just shut down my internet presence.  This year, to say the least, was over whelming.  I wanted to spend it curled up in the fetal position until the storm was over, but life isn't like that.  I wake up, I'm in pain, life goes on, and I am using every healthy and unhealthy coping skill I can think of.  Sometimes things are just like that.  The old wife's tale says bad things come in threes.  This year felt like wave after wave after wave.  I would call it a water boarding year, an illegal form of torture, not to be used on enemies.  Yet, here I am, after a brutal year, still standing.  I had happy times sprinkled in to keep me going.  I felt gratitude for many things.  However, I learned that happy times and shared jokes don't undo the emotional impact of a tough year.  I learned that no matter how hard things got, arthritis still hurts, dinner still needs to be eaten, and making huge mistakes or huge successes does not change events.  I felt keenly the last freedom we have is how we respond to our experiences.  Viktor Frankl taught this in his book Man's Search for Meaning.  I am thankful I am through this year.  I am working at treating myself with more compassion.  No matter how much I prepared, I underestimated the powerful impact of two deaths in my family within 2 days.  A week changed everything.  I am stilling trying to figure out where I am, so that I can figure out where I want to go.  

Great description of Boundaries

 One of the first things I learned I needed during counseling was boundaries.  In fact, boundaries is what finally brought me into counseling in the first place.  DH (darling husband) and I were taking a marriage class offered by our church.  They spent the whole evening talking about the importance of boundaries.  When I got home, I was less than polite asking DH what they were.  He knew.  After his explanation I felt frustrated and confused that I didn't know what they were or how to use them.  That is when I decided I needed professional counseling.  Hardest and best decision ever.  

Today, online I found a great description of boundaries.  

https://www.facebook.com/photo?fbid=2722259154722284&set=a.1384623531819193

I went to her webpage to learn a bit about her.  She is a life coach and has a blog.  She also archived it so you can easily get to the other posts. I recommend you checking out her pages if you like this post.  

https://www.lisaaromano.com/blog

Google is suspicious

I've been off this page for so long that Google is suspicious of my presents.  I'm working at getting back to my blogs on a more regular basis.  

Hi, How are you?

 I hunkered down into survival mode.  My interactions with groups on Facebook for PTSD and CPTSD is about the extent of what I've done for awhile.  I am slowly getting my feet back under me.  We traveled and visited family far away.  We saw beautiful country and visited the Great lakes.  Yes, I am impressed with the amazing country I live in.  I'm sad when I still see so much fear and distrust.  I am thrilled when I see smiling faces that welcome all who come.  

At the end of the day, the power of hope is the belief that the sun will rise in the morning.  

 I like this idea I found on Facebook

Of course, my take on what they are calling the "new normal" is that insanity is not new....what is new is trying to convince everyone to embrace insanity as normal.  

I am thankful to live over 60 years and be able to say I have seen a lot of stuff come down, this past year may be one of the strangest for how long I've stayed home, living like I'm under house arrest, but not the worst.  I am thankful for friends and family that call, video chat and share encouragement and love in so many different ways.  I pray for those that are sick, lost their jobs, experienced financial hardship, or lost their loved ones.  It is much like the book opening in the Tale of Two Cities:

• “It was the best of times, it was the worst of times, it was the age of wisdom, it was the age of foolishness, it was the epoch of belief, it was the epoch of incredulity, it was the season of light, it was the season of darkness, it was the spring of hope, it was the winter of despair.” ― Charles Dickens , A Tale of Two Cities

Charles Dickens could have written about these times.  

My recommendation is find a bit of joy and spread it.  On Facebook, I find beautiful pictures and share them.  Online teaching, I encourage, leave funny GIFs for daily check ins, and try to help others see that the future is amazing.  

Fire your mean boss

 I can't tell you how shocked I was when my counselor told me to fire my mean boss.  I was also confused.  How could I fire my boss?  At the time, I did have a mean boss at work.  I expressed my confusion.  

He carried on, "You know the boss that expect you to be early to work and stay late.  The boss that expects you do to do more than any one else.  The boss that makes you go in on weekends and other times when you could be home...." Took a while for me to finally realize the mean boss he referred to was me.  I was my own mean boss.  I was my harshest critic and put myself down more than anyone else.  

I am not alone with this challenge of needing to fire my mean boss.  Dove sponsored a project that they shared in this video.  

(545) Dove Real Beauty Sketches | You’re more beautiful than you think (6mins) - YouTube

I agree with their conclusion you are more beautiful than you think.  I also believe most of us are doing better than we think we are.  You are better than what that inner critic keeps telling you.  Learning to fire my mean boss and become my own best friend, which is much harder than I thought it would be.