increase misery.....
I am watching someone else going through a rough time because in their mind certain things should happen. They have high expectations of what their life should look like. 90% of their misery is tied to unmet expectations. I used to beat myself up for not meeting unreasonable goals. I had to lower my lofty expectations to ground zero. How many times I heard....
It has been X amount of time, you should be able to do ________________.
Have you heard it? Have you said it to yourself? I do have goals. Some mighty lofty, however, my awesome counselor pointed out that beating myself up does not get me any closer to my goals. I need to think baby steps.....lots and lots of baby steps. Long term goals need shorter goals. Back sliding is not a reason to put myself down. Two steps forward and one back is the starting of a ChaCha. Reset my expectations to more reasonable goals. Moving forward again.....getting results.
2 comments:
I suppose it could be worse; like our mothers, we could have out-of-reach expectations of what our lives should look like AND take it for granted that other people are here to make that happen for us.
Actually, I don't know if that's worse or not. They have no hope of being contented because they've put it all in everyone else's hands, but least they always have somebody else to blame. We don't keep ourselves in that kind of helplessness, but we also keep feeling guilty and putting ourselves down (as we are trained to do) when we don't achieve our goals.
Good point Cassandra. Thanks for you comment.
Post a Comment