Last year about this time is when I last posted. I seriously considered quitting all my blogs and just shut down my internet presence. This year, to say the least, was over whelming. I wanted to spend it curled up in the fetal position until the storm was over, but life isn't like that. I wake up, I'm in pain, life goes on, and I am using every healthy and unhealthy coping skill I can think of. Sometimes things are just like that. The old wife's tale says bad things come in threes. This year felt like wave after wave after wave. I would call it a water boarding year, an illegal form of torture, not to be used on enemies. Yet, here I am, after a brutal year, still standing. I had happy times sprinkled in to keep me going. I felt gratitude for many things. However, I learned that happy times and shared jokes don't undo the emotional impact of a tough year. I learned that no matter how hard things got, arthritis still hurts, dinner still needs to be eaten, and making huge mistakes or huge successes does not change events. I felt keenly the last freedom we have is how we respond to our experiences. Viktor Frankl taught this in his book Man's Search for Meaning. I am thankful I am through this year. I am working at treating myself with more compassion. No matter how much I prepared, I underestimated the powerful impact of two deaths in my family within 2 days. A week changed everything. I am stilling trying to figure out where I am, so that I can figure out where I want to go.
