A drip is a drop

When the grass looks greener on the other side of the fence, it may be that they take better care of it there.  ~ Cecil Selig 
http://www.innerkiddies.com/


Here is what the hand out suggested:  www.pbisaz.org/files/Bullying_handout.pdf

 Strategies for Handling Annoying Bullying
•    Make fun of the tease, not the bully. Although the automatic response to a put-down or name-calling is to respond in a kind against the bully, it is more effective and less provocative to make fun of the tease.
 –    Persistent Bully: Look at your shoes, did you get them in a dump? –    Target: You mean this isn’t the latest style?
***
 –    Persistent Bully: Here comes Miss Pizza Face...
 –    Target: Old, old, old –can you find something new to say?
•    Give the bully permission to tease. Giving permission to tease removes the power from the bully and gives it to the victim. A variation of this strategy is to remind the bully of previous teasing, and then give permission.
–    Target: Here comes Jack. I give you permission to tease.
***
–    Target: Jack, yesterday you were teasing me about my clothes and my hair. Is there anything new today? You have my permission to tease me, but please try to have something new to say.

I thought these were some interesting approaches. Another one I like to use is to alter the meaning of a put down or find the beauty in it -

A drip is a drop
A drop is water
Water is nature
Nature is beautiful
Thank you for the compliment.

I first read this in 7th grade.  I started turning other things around.  Looking at words with a fresh approach.  Tough one came when I was working with a difficult student as a teacher's aide.  The boy would call me bitch.  Hit me hard.  I didn't know quite how to handle it.  So I searched.  I finally found a t-shirt that I knew would get me fired if I wore it.  Can't fire me for my thoughts so every time he called me bitch this is what I thought:

Being
In
Total
Control of
Herself!

I also came to realize that the times he called me bitch was when I was in control of the situation.  They asked me if I wanted to work with him a second year, this is when I used my favorite solution for bullies, No, I am staying as far away as possible. 

My sister and I discussed interacting with NM at great lengths.  We tried a number of experiments.  Humor is a powerful tool when the other person is trying to put you down.  However, I do not recommend laughing around someone that is so filled with rage that you are no more than a target on a shooting range.  Humor usually works with those bullies that are not prone to extreme violence.  I learned from KavinCoach that testing out strategies on someone relatively safe is a good plan.  My nasty boss for all his unpleasantness was not violent.  So he became my guinea pig on testing out strategies.  He was totally puzzled when I would turn some of his jabs into jokes.  I don't think it improved out relationship but I had so much more fun.  I also documented all our interactions.  If the bully is a boss, coworker, or really just about any one it is a good idea to keep documentation.  This is especially helpful if the bullying escalates and a court order or some other intervention is required.  Telling one incident doesn't do much, a list of 40 to 50 problems gets noticed.

Hold your breath and keep swimming.