Complexity of social Bullying

Lay a firm foundation with the bricks that others throw at you. 
~ David Brinkley

Afraid to write this one. Social bullying is not new.  The Silent Treatment is as old as marriage.  Some one gets ticked off and shows their displeasure by excluding the offender.  For some people, like me, the first time I was aware that my mother gave me the silent treatment I was first puzzled, vaguely hurt, then wondering what I needed to do to get it again.  I guess if I am happy with the results it is not really bullying.  My dissociation, disconnectedness from my emotions and people, insulated me from most of the social bullying in my life.  Took KavinCoach quite a few sessions to get me to understand what was happening around me that I so blithely ignored.  So rather than try to vaguely describe it, I am going to use the notes from the 'Violence in the Classroom' workshop.  

Social Bullying - Harm to someone's group acceptance



Verbal                                                                                     Non-verbal

Level One    
• Gossiping   
• Starting or spreading rumors   
• Teasing publicly about clothes, looks, relationships, etc.    • Ignoring someone and excluding them  
                                                                                                    from a group

Level Two - (some of these behaviors are against the law)   
• Ostracizing using notes, Instant messaging, email,
facebook, etc.   
•Posting slander in public places                                             • Playing mean tricks to embarrass  
                                                                                               someone(at a school on a bulletin board or
                                                                                                bathroom wall)

Level Three - (most of these behaviors are against the law)   
• Enforcing total group exclusion against someone                 • Arranging public humiliation
by threatening others if they don’t comply
(Adapted from Bitney, J ED. 1996 Johnson Institute No-Bullying Program: Preventing Bully Bictim Violence at School. Minneapolis, MN: Johnston Institute.)

Social bullying is hitting the headlines for targets/victims taking their own lives to escape this nightmare.

There were some weird quirks that happened with my mother that would fall under the category of harming my acceptance by others that has happened more recently.  I stop by her house every Saturday to pick up my sister and stop to visit.  In the last few months, she leaves for her walk when I arrive.  No big deal, however, when my DH went to visit she complained to him about me never coming to visit her.  I read enough other blogs to realize that my situation is fairly mild.  My job at the university was a rumor mill and many of the rumors about me were not kind.  I was so focused on surviving, I really didn't care what was said.  In retrospect, I probably should have paid closer attention since those rumors are what most likely led to me being laid off.  Many times I use pictures to help me grasp a concept.  Tonight when I was working on my picture blog I posted this picture and I felt it did a great job showing how Socially bullying creates hostile environment. 

If you would like to see more of my Fall pictures you can check out my picture post:
http://ruthmower.blogspot.com/2012/11/fall.html