Bully defined

I just came off of 3 weeks of way too much to do.  My week off from school was packed and busy but not much time to rest.  On top of all I was doing, I took another class.  This one on how to prevent school violence with emphasis on addressing bullying in the school.  I am extremely interested.  I listened to the Bullying policy last year in a staff meeting.  I was furious at how anemic their plan seemed to me.  I wanted more information.  The information I am sharing is from the Bully prevention presentation by Kris Bosworth, PhD and Maryann Judkins, MA University of Arizona. 

Definition: "A student is being bullied when he or she is exposed, repeatedly and over time, to negative actions on the part of one or more other students."  - Olweus (1993)

I followed up with a search and add this information from Wikipedia:

Bullying may be defined as the activity of repeated, aggressive behavior intended to hurt another person, physically or mentally. Bullying is characterized by an individual behaving in a certain way to gain power over another person.^[7]
Norwegian researcher Dan Olweus^[8] says bullying occurs when a person is:

'exposed, repeatedly and over time, to negative actions on the part of one or more other persons'. He says negative actions occur 'when a person intentionally inflicts injury or discomfort upon another person, through physical contact, through words or in other ways.'^{[citation needed]}

PDF by Dan Olweus http://www.google.com/url?sa=t&rct=j&q=&esrc=s&source=web&cd=1&ved=0CCYQFjAA&url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.cobbk12.org%2Fpreventionintervention%2FBully%2FDefinition%2520of%2520Bullying.pdf&ei=dESXUKm8AaiziQLL9YCABQ&usg=AFQjCNGYhK652txJwarckwMxvw8MV6L_fQ&sig2=hsJho1aO9kgZy5NSEAZZsQ

Another link has this to say about bullying: 
http://www.stopbullying.gov/what-is-bullying/definition/index.html

Bullying is unwanted, aggressive behavior among school aged children that involves a real or perceived power imbalance. The behavior is repeated, or has the potential to be repeated, over time. Both kids who are bullied and who bully others may have serious, lasting problems.
In order to be considered bullying, the behavior must be aggressive and include:

• An Imbalance of Power: Kids who bully use their power—such as physical strength, access to embarrassing information, or popularity—to control or harm others. Power imbalances can change over time and in different situations, even if they involve the same people.
• Repetition: Bullying behaviors happen more than once or have the potential to happen more than once.

Bullying includes actions such as making threats, spreading rumors, attacking someone physically or verbally, and excluding someone from a group on purpose.

I learned that bullying is not just among school age children by experience.  I had a boss that was a bully so definitions are now expanding to include work place and other situations.   Two things became immediately apparent not all conflict is bullying and repetition with intent to harm was key to the definition. 

I especially appreciate the chart by Bosworth and Judkins:

Normal conflict                                      Bullying

Equal power; friends                             Imbalance of power; not friends
Occasional and accidental                     Repeated and purposeful
Equal emotional reaction                       Strong emotional reaction by target and
                                                                     often pleasure by the aggressor
Not seeking power or attention              Seeking power or control
Remorseful - takes responsibility           No remorse; blames target
Makes an effort to problem solve           No effort to problem solve

For the next while, I am sharing my exploration in understanding bullying.  My intent is to help me understand when a narcissistic uses bullying to control or harm.  I hope by this project I can wrap my mind around patterns that I saw in my life growing up.