11. Remove All your Masks
http://www.purposefairy.com/6661/change-your-life-through-the-art-of-self-masteryIn my opinion, the author was not raised by a narcissistic. The last thing my narc parents wanted was for me to be myself. They shaped and molded me. My pedophile neighbor set out to destroy the essence of me. KavinCoach finally succeeded in getting me white hot angry when he implied that the parts of myself were fake and where was my true self? My separate personalities helped me to keep all emotion under powerful control and anger simply faded away. I didn't think I had any masks. The multiple me's gave the illusion of being 2 faced but the reality was one part of me was totally unaware and shielded from other parts. To help illustrate this: WYSIWYG. In the early ages of computers, a person would write text then write command line code created the information for how a print would look. MS word still does not do WYSIWYG. Just yesterday, a student was trying to print what they could see on the screen but what printed looked nothing like it. The confusion I felt when I would watch my mother take on another mask when my father was around. Tears would vanish, tone of voice would change, and conversation would abruptly alter like a mask coming down over reality. I like Photoshop. What-You-See-Is-What-You-Get if it prints out with a line in it, I can see it in the photograph on the monitor if I blow it up big enough. Hiding behind a mask of politeness I learned to look a little closer when sarcasm or other passive /aggressive behaviors are present. Look a little closer and behind their mask. I was so accustomed to seeing someone else's mask I hadn't realized that I developed my own after integration. Removing all your masks, taking the Red Pill, authentic living, being myself all phrases to step away from living the lies demanded by nparents to be an acceptable person. I am not happy all the time. I am not a reflection of their desire. I am myself. I like living my life that way. I liked these quote:
"Be who you say you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter, don't mind." Dr. Seuss
Be your own kind of beautiful
Be-You-tiful
More "Be yourself quotes" http://www.squidoo.com/be-yourself-quotes
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| Mask to protect myself from flying debris. Removing myself away from flying debris, I can remove the mask. |
3 comments:
I'm kind of cheating on your posts - I don't read the original article, I just read your insights on the article. Being myself is a bit more difficult than I thought it would be - who am I? What do I like? What do I dislike? How can I dress to feel feminine and comfortable? These were all such traps in my early life - and I've danced around them for so long, pleasing others and thereby thinking that I was pleasing myself, that it's a bit tricky to figure out where I am in all that. I'm working on it - I'm currently sitting here with a plastic bag over my head while I condition my hair with coconut oil - something I never would have done earlier in my life - it might be considered narcissistic of me!! Such vanity! I'm also losing weight - another thing that would have been sabotaged by Nmother. She would always tell me I needed to lose weight and then she would bake all kinds of goodies and give me the knowing look - I know you can't resist these and I've made them especially for YOU! AACK! It's funny to spend time on me, energy on me, and money on me... I'm not feeling as guilty about that as I thought I would, though! Thanks for this post - it's so helpful to know that this is a common struggle for ACoN's and that this, too, can be overcome! The timer has gone off, so I have to go wash the coconut oil out - I am such a slave to vanity!!!
Not easy, but working on it.
Toto, something I have learned over time. Narcissistics do not take care of themselves, they are too busy manipulating someone else into taking care of them. I believe in self care and the coconut oil sounds like a lovely idea.
Amen Sister. :)
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